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Old 04-24-2007, 12:12 PM   #1
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mothers day is coming up.

oh lord mothers day is almost here another first without mom. thank goddness i am on vacation from work. but i know it is still going to be hard. how am i going to get thru this one.

 
Old 04-24-2007, 03:05 PM   #2
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Re: mothers day is coming up.

I know how you're feeling! I usually would go to visit with mom on Mother's day-now I have no one to visit-I thought about going to catch a movie-or even go shopping. If it's a decent day thought I'd work on the yard-go by some annuals. cherie

 
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Old 04-24-2007, 06:45 PM   #3
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Re: mothers day is coming up.

I feel your pain...this will be my second Mother's Day without my mom. My mom always had a dog show on that day. So now, I try to find a show to go to just to feel closer to her. Also, I always gave her annuals for Mother's Day. So now I plant my own and save a couple to bring to the cemetary. We're not supposed to plant flowers there...but I do anyway. She would think that was funny! For some strange reason, I get a lot of comfort visiting the cemetary. Maybe because I feel that by attending to her grave, I can still take care of her. I hope you find something to give you comfort on this tough day.

 
Old 04-25-2007, 06:12 AM   #4
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Re: mothers day is coming up.

My mother was buried two weeks ago today. All I can say is I am doing my best to ignore Mother's Day. It always takes place right before my birthday and I am not sure how I am going to get through it this year.

I can't seem to cry. And I want to so badly.

Sara

 
Old 04-26-2007, 04:24 AM   #5
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Re: mothers day is coming up.

Sara, I understand where your coming from-Thankgiving was my/our first holiday w/o mom-it was different-hard-but we got through it. Christmas was really hard for me-I know it was hard for my sisters-brother-but they have families with them-that makes it easier for them. All I can say is take it one day at a time-cry if you have to. take care, Cherie

 
Old 04-27-2007, 05:32 PM   #6
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Re: mothers day is coming up.

yep i will be working it will be my first weekend after vac. when i looked at the schedule i saw that i go back on the 12th and mothers day is the next day. i all ways gave mom flowers or bought her a plant or some little thing i would find at work. i was crying in the middle of the night last night i dont think bobby knows excatley what to do when i get like that. i miss her so much. we had our problems as all mother and daughers do but she was mom and daddy still has her door closed i am having her anniverersy ring redone into a smaller band [14k] so i can wear it the jeler called today and ask for my size he said it is going to be beutiful i told him it means a lot to me and i am going to get it on the middle payday of may its costing me 250.00 but its worth it i will have mom with me i know she is always with me but i can have somthing of hers on me every day. you know.well i hope every one that wont have their mom will be o.k. and those of you who do give them and extra big hug for me . thanks susan kay happy mothers day

 
Old 04-27-2007, 10:57 PM   #7
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Re: mothers day is coming up.

Susan,

Them special days are hard aren't they? how have you been doing and where in the world have you been girl? It seems like I haven't seen a post from you on here in a long time. So how are you and Bobby doing? I hope things works out well for you and him. Is your Dad still doing alright? I know he has got to be lonesome without your Mom there with him. Susan, maybe thats why he keeps her door closed. Maybe that makes him feel better. Thats something that we just don't know what they are thinking. Well, I hope to hear from you soon. I miss talking back and forth with you on here!

Love you,
Jan

 
Old 04-30-2007, 08:09 AM   #8
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Re: mothers day is coming up.

Hi! I'm new here.

I was just reading the replies and feeling at "ease" that there are others that feel the same way I do.

It will be the 4th Mother's Day without mom and I hate when I see the sunny days, the pretty flowers and that doggone Sunday in May.
I try to ignore it, too, but here it comes again.
When she passed, it was a pretty, bright sunny day... me & my sister spent the majority of that day just talking about what she would say and what she'd do; how she'd get on our case when we were wrong; things she said that made you laugh. Now I think about a lot of old expressions she'd use in a situation and when a matter comes up, I can hear her words of wisdom.

I really feel ripped apart.

 
Old 05-01-2007, 12:22 PM   #9
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Re: mothers day is coming up.

hi coyetebound we are doing great we are both ne vacation together we went groc. shopping this morning happy as clams i still dont go in moms room daddy is o.k. he is seeing very caseuly a aunt of mine on moms side sister her name is mary so he seems to be settling in. he has a retoine of going to excercing and stopping and geting him a big breakfast and coming home and getting busy in the garden. [ which by the way he wasnt going to do this year] so we are doing o.k. my health is doing good i hate restless leg but dr. cutie pie mike upped my scrip to .o1 i think it is alittle stronger and i can take 2 of those now. but the mass i had is nothing and doc. bundrick says it is a o.k. not to worry. i just have to stay on my hemocyet plus iron because it is a little low and he wants me o stay on it at first he said to stay off of it then when he got the rsults he changed his mind. my kitties are o.k.rotten bobby and i will probly get married next year so thats exciting i just need to make it through mothers day. so how are you . it is suspposed to rain today later you should be getting it first looking at the screen. be good and write back. susan kay

 
Old 05-02-2007, 11:56 PM   #10
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Re: mothers day is coming up.

Susan,

It's good to hear from you! I was getting a little worried about you because I never seen you on healthboards anymore. Now I know you got Bobby in your life now and that's great but please come back to Healthboards so we can chat and stay in touch. You know we have all went throught the same thing, and when you talk back and forth, you can get use to someome and notice that they are not getting on the site. But it's good to hear that all is good for you!

Mothers Day I plan to go to the Cemetary and put out some new flowers on the grave. At least that will make me feel better. It's been a little over a year, but girl it's still hard to cope sometimes.

Well we had rain Tuesday night and then tonight(Wednesday) it got pretty ruff for a while. We had wind gust of 109 here and Pete was standing on he porch watching the clouds and all of a sudden that wind hit and it shoved him backwards about 3 foot steps. He is a pretty good size man so that goes to show you that the wind was really terrible. We have had lots of rain but we did need it because the lake levels was so down that it was bad. But now. it is actually above what it normally is so that goes to tell you we have had some rain that we needed bad.

Well it was good talking to you and you take care and I am so glad that your test results came back good and you don't have to worry about that now. Holler back when you can alright?

Jan

 
Old 05-07-2007, 06:43 PM   #11
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Re: mothers day is coming up.

I'm new to this board. I have been searching lately for an outlet and friend to meet that might "get it." I have had much loss in my life in the last 6 years. My mother was diagnosed with unknown primary source cancer in July of 1998. She did chemo and radiation and didn't have much quality of life after that. My sister Joanie got married in October of that year and my mom wasn't up to attending the wedding because she was so weak. My father Pat attended without her and it was hard missing her being there. My mom passed away in February of 1999 after being hospitalized and going to hospice for two days. We were all there when she passed away and watched her go peacefully. Hospice is a god send for families and for helping with them deal with death. This is a long story and I apologize but I have not been able to tell it all until now.

After that my sister Joanie who just got married got pregnant in February. Her and I have always been best buddies besides being sisters. She found out she had breast cancer during her pregnancy. She went through chemo that was ok to give while being pregnant and had a double masectomy. She chose not to have a reconstruction of her breasts because of of all that she was going through at the times. Her baby boy Cole was born in October of 2000 and was healthy as a horse and has been our angel. He is now 7 1/2 years old. Things were good.

My sister Joanie had more chemo after Cole was born being they could give her other drugs when she wasn't pregnant any longer. She tolerated them well and had a pretty good life through treatment.

That spring/summer my sister Kathy got diagnosed with breast cancer. She had a one breat mastectomy. She had chemo and radiation and did well throught treatment. Then she had problems later and had a recurrence. She went through chemo again and started having problems. She ended up having heart damage from the treatment and could barely function physically without shortness of breath and fatigue. She went to the emergency room at noon on a Friday and we all came down. The cardiologists were called in and they said her heart may stop. We were shocked because no one had mentioned the heart or damage thereto before that. They said her heart was damaged from the treatment. They asked us if we wanted to use heroic measures if her heart stopped. Her husband said no if it meant being a vegatable. I know I couldn't believe what I was hearing and didn't know she was even close to being this bad. And no warning from the doctors prior to that. She died at age 46 about 5 hours later with us by her side in July 2004.

My brother's wife Julia passed away at that age of 42 in September of 2005 of a aneryseum at work at her desk. We were not really close but close in a family way.

I know this is way too long so i will try to shorten it up.

After that my dad had problems with right adominal pain. The doctors said he had cancer that had spread to the liver and he was becoming jaundiced. WE went with him to the oncologist and they offered to do chemo if that is what he wanted but didn't paint a pretty picture of his outcome. He opted to have chemo and had one session. He went downhill quickly after that and we moved him to hospice at the end. He lived for about a day there and we were with him when he passed on Memorial Day 2006.

Prior to my dad passing away, my sister Joanie had a relapse and it was in her spine. That lasted about 2 years without anything happening. Then she had a relapse in her liver and lungs. That lasted about a year until it got worse. After my dad passed away she was still doing well. We all stuck together and it was just me and Joanie and my brothers, Pat and Billy left.

In August of 2006, we went to the State Fair and had a great time as we have always done by tradition, but this time without my dad. My dad worked at the state fair and was an icon there for all the years he met people and loved working there. About two weeks later, Joanie got diagnosed with another relapse. This time in her liver and lungs and brain. She had a seizure and her son found her on the floor and called for his dad who was outside grilling. They took her in and she spent 2 weeks in the hospital figuring things out. Her son who was six at the time has had a hard time with being apart from people he loves since then, fearing something will happen to them.

They did MORE chemo and radiation. How much can a person take? She did fairly well considering, and spent a lot of quality time with all of us. In December she took a turn for the worse and kept telling me "weird things are going on" and having a hard time functioning physically. She had had a lot of blood transfusions and usually felt better with each one. This time it wasn't working. She ended up refusing to go to the hospital in the last couple of weeks. I think she knew deep down that is the time she had at home. We ended up carrying her to the car and got her to the hospital. She was so weak and her body was so worn out from all of the treatment she had for so long. She ended up passing away on Dec. 19th 2006. I was with her that night alone all night and she was in intesive care. It was a night I happened to be on watch for her and a night I'll always be glad I was there for her. It was scary as hell and and not pretty by any means, but I am honored that I was with her. She was 47. She was not only my sister but my best friend and I think of her constantly. It is so hard to not have her here.

I could go on forever but this is such a long post already. I really miss all of my family. I have two brothers left and they have never been that close, but I'm working on it. My sisters and my parents were my world. I am 45 and it is so weird not having them around anymore. I miss them more than words can ever say. There is so much more to add, but I have had way too long of a post already. Anyone out there that understands or has had such loss in such a short time? I don't want a pity party at all, I just want to be able to deal with all of this and be normal again. Where do you get help for this .. i.e., counseling, etc. I try to be strong and handle it all but sometimes I feel I am so out of reality because I can't believe it has happened and don't know what my life is anymore without them all.

 
Old 05-08-2007, 04:26 AM   #12
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Re: mothers day is coming up.

Marimo, As I've read your post I had tears in my eyes...it makes you wonder why God picked my family? You know we're here for you-to chat with or vent with like you just did. I know mothers day will be really tough for me-I'm not working that day which makes it worse. Take care.......Cherie

 
Old 05-08-2007, 10:56 AM   #13
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Re: mothers day is coming up.

Maaaaaan....

I'm speechless. I am so, soooo sorry for all your loss, Mari.
I understand what you're feeling, but not to that extent.

Your story would knock anyone to their knees. Take good care of yourself.

 
Old 05-08-2007, 06:10 PM   #14
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Re: mothers day is coming up.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cher1052 View Post
Marimo, As I've read your post I had tears in my eyes...it makes you wonder why God picked my family? You know we're here for you-to chat with or vent with like you just did. I know mothers day will be really tough for me-I'm not working that day which makes it worse. Take care.......Cherie
Thanks for the kind words Cherie - It felt good just putting it down in writing. Maybe that helps with the healing...talking about it. I do feel like why has God done this to our family? I'm sure there is a reason and I have to belive in his decision. And, yes, Mother's Day will be tough. I have two teenage daughters that I love with all my heart and will spend time with them. But it will be missing something without my mom and my sisters and the daughters they have left behind. Will be my sister Joanie's son's first year without his mom and will be a difficult day for them. What is your situation? Thanks for the support and for caring. Mary

 
Old 05-08-2007, 06:15 PM   #15
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Re: mothers day is coming up.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jujubeez725 View Post
Maaaaaan....

I'm speechless. I am so, soooo sorry for all your loss, Mari.
I understand what you're feeling, but not to that extent.

Your story would knock anyone to their knees. Take good care of yourself.
Thanks for your response. I know my story is bizarre and I felt such a relief getting it all out. I know it is pretty freaky. But true. I don't think anyone understands that so much can happen in such a short time to a family. Makes me feel like something is cursed with us. I'm sure that isn't true, but sometimes you feel that way. Sometimes I feel like if I tell my story, people will avoid me ad it might "rub off" on them. Silly, I know. But it doesn't change the loss and the feeling of not being me anymore because I don't have their love and support close by anymore. Everyone tells me they are there with me in spirit always, and I'm sure that is true, but it doesn't change the fact you can't stop by and see them anytime or pick up the phone and share your experiences day by day. Anyway, like I told Cherie, it is good just to vent and to tell my story. I does help to talk about it. Thanks again for you response and for caring. Mary

 
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