Well, today's April 26th. It didn't hit me until this morning what a day of rememberance it is. I mean, I knew what the date was and knew it was coming, but still.
Today would have been my son's 21st birthday. Alex was a bright, happy, sensitive child who thoroughly enjoyed being different. He was artistic. He was funny. He was always the first to comfort anyone who needed it.
It's been 12 years since the accident that killed both Alex and his sister, Cassie. I would have thought after all this time, I could look on his birthday with a smile and remember only the good. But each and every time the pain returns. I suppose because I didn't look ahead and mark this day with weeks of dread it means I'm getting "better". Still, it's a milestone, and would have been an important one in his life.
Today is also the 1st anniversary of the death of a dear dear friend. Rob was always there for me for comfort, for venting, for just talking trash. I was always greeted with a smile, a hug, and a cup of coffee (or something stronger) when I visited. We didn't get to spend nearly enought time together. I'm glad we got to say "goodbye" and "I love you".
I can't begin to imagine what it is like to lose a child. I suffer from major depression and when I would get down my mother would do whatever it took to get me stable again. I have always had a suicidal tendency and she never let me give in. My mother died Easter Sunday.
I can only say that my thoughts and prayers are with you today.
You have experienced my worst nightmare Nyxie. It's hard as a mother even reading your post and imagining myself in your situation.
As corny as it may sound, I think if I lost my son I would still regard myself a mother, only difference would be I'd be a mother to an angel. I hope you think of yourself in the same way. God bless your grieving heart, xx.
I can't imagine how it must of felt to lose a child. I do know what it feels like to lose people you care about though and would just like to send you a lot of love and support. Keep holding in there and keep talking especially through the hard times. I hope you have a lot of people you can turn to and there is always people here ready to listen anytime you need them to.
