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Comforting a Grieving Mother - Need Suggestions Please

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Old 05-11-2007, 01:42 PM   #1
Join Date: Feb 2005
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Marirose HB User
Comforting a Grieving Mother - Need Suggestions Please

Hi everyone - I would be grateful if anyone has a suggestion. One of my son's teachers lost her only daughter in October of last year and came back to teaching in December. My sons attend a very small country school, so we are all like family.

I lost my brother last October as well, and after his death, many of our friends and acquaintances did not say anything to us until much later, and then said, "I wanted to comfort you, but didn't know what to say". At that time, I vowed I would never let my own discomfort keep me from letting someone know I care about them and their grief.

Well, now Mother's Day is almost here, and my son came home with a darling mother's day gift he made at school. I truly can't imagine the loss of one of my children, and what it must have cost his teacher emotionally to work on these projects with her students. I know I will see her at church on Sunday, and I want to say SOMETHING, but everything sounds wrong.

I can't say I know how she feels, because I don't and I pray to God every night that I never will. I don't want to say "you're in my prayers" - it just sounds distant, even though I do pray for her. It's too late for "I'm sorry for your loss".

Any suggestions would be really helpful. I want to do the right thing, even if that means saying nothing, but I would have rather heard anything from people rather than nothing when I was greiving. But was that just me?

God bless, Marirose

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Old 05-14-2007, 07:49 AM   #2
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sally12 HB User
Re: Comforting a Grieving Mother - Need Suggestions Please

Hi Marirose
I dont know what it is like to loose a child, but I lost my mum nearly 2 years ago and like you people did not say anything till much later or nothing at all and like that I said I would never be like that, if it was me I would send her a card or get your son to make one for her or get him to bring in a small bunch of flowers to her, it must have been so hard for her to make the cards with the kids knowing she will not get one from her child this year, it doesnt need to be a big gesture just a simple "thinking of you card" or a few flowers from the garden.

Sorry about your brother hope you are doing ok and hope this was some help to you

Old 05-14-2007, 08:57 AM   #3
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Marirose HB User
Re: Comforting a Grieving Mother - Need Suggestions Please

Hi Sally - Thanks for the advice. I will definitely send a "thinking of you" type of card into school with my son. (He's home sick today w/ one of his brothers) I am sorry for the loss of your mom...yesterday must have been difficult for you, also. Thanks for taking the time to repsond.

Thanks for the good wishes, too. I still have my bad days about my brother...he died from an alcohol addiction, and he was a single parent, so my husband and I have adopted his two little children. I love them to pieces, but sometimes I still get upset when I look at them, esp. his son, and see my brother so clearly in him, my brother the way he was as a child and before he started drinking. Then I just start wishing again it could have all been different.

Thanks again & prayers for you & your mom, Marirose

Last edited by Marirose; 05-14-2007 at 08:59 AM.

Old 05-14-2007, 07:08 PM   #4
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Re: Comforting a Grieving Mother - Need Suggestions Please

I agree about the card and flowers. It can be sooo hard to respond to face-to-face condolences from acquaintances, but a sincere message will never go wrong.

Old 05-15-2007, 08:19 AM   #5
Janet S
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Re: Comforting a Grieving Mother - Need Suggestions Please

Losing one's child is so difficult. After six years, we are still grieving the loss of our daughter. We find the greatest peace and comfort in prayer. My husband and I pray each day together. We started praying because our other daughter had given us a book on daily reading and prayer. Perhaps, you could find a prayer book at the Christian book store.

Please don't be afraid to talk with your friend about her daughter. Your friend needs to know that you care so much...even if what you say brings tears to her eyes.

I send you my prayers for your greiving your brother and pray for your strength in taking care of his children.

God bless you.

Old 05-15-2007, 10:04 AM   #6
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Marirose HB User
Re: Comforting a Grieving Mother - Need Suggestions Please

Dear Janet - Thank you so much for your good suggestions. I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter.

You and your husband must be very blessed with strength to endure and keep faithful throughout this trial.

My husband and I also pray together daily, and our children attend a Catholic school, but somehow I never thought of a prayer book for her. What a marvelous idea.

I don't get into town very often at this time of year as we are farmers, but I will search the internet. Do you have a suggestion of one that is especially meaningful to you as a mother?

I will keep you and your husband and family in my prayers. Thanks for taking the time to point me in the right direction. I did send a little note into school with my son today...maybe I will be able to get a book for her as an "end of the school year" gift?!

Thank you to for the prayer regarding my brother. As I said, there are still bad days, but he did leave me the gift of his beautiful children, and that is a blessing beyond all words. His daugther is the only girl in our family of nine children, and I am certain she is my angel.

Peace and prayers to you, Marirose

Old 05-16-2007, 07:45 AM   #7
Janet S
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Re: Comforting a Grieving Mother - Need Suggestions Please

The book we used the most on a daily basis is:
"Grace for Grief: Daily Comfort for Those Who Mourn" by Michael and Brenda Pink.
It is available at Amazon, etc.

There are many other really good books. However, I always like to go the bookstore to thumb through the books, rather than buying online...where you only see the cover and the table of contents.

However, I think you would be very happy with the Grace for Grief book. The authors, the Pinks, lost 2 children; and they have included Bible verses that are so meaningful. It may be that someone else has already given your friend this book. You may want to check with her to find out.

Let me know if you have any questions.

I send you prayers and best wishes,

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