It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Grief & Loss Message Board

Crying out for some help

Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 05-15-2007, 10:31 AM   #1
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Kent
Posts: 81
Toffee1 HB User
Unhappy Crying out for some help

Hi really need some help - just crying out for it. I just dont know what to do. I keep being told I need to talk about it, open up but how do I do that when I just seem to be surpressing the grief in one instance and letting it out by crying and sobbing and breaking down in the other.

I just feel like I am losing control completely - myself is disappearing rapidly. The pain is getting more and more intense, the crying is getting more and more frequent and the low moods are happening with more frequency.

I just block it and put a wall up - I just cant seem to speak honestly and let myself grieve. I just feel guilty to move on or enjoy myself.

What can I do? Can anybody help Please?

Sponsors Lightbulb
Old 05-15-2007, 11:42 AM   #2
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 698
Nyxie63 HB UserNyxie63 HB User
Re: Crying out for some help

Hi Toffee,

Maybe you'd feel more comfortable talking with a grief counselor. Sometimes it's easier to talk to someone you know won't be hurt or saddened by what you're going through, rather than with family or friends. You would also be able to learn coping techniques that work for you as well as learning to talk about it in a safe, caring environment. If you don't know how to start, the counselors are well versed in gently asking questions to get you started.

I fully understand putting up the wall. Did it for 4 years before it came back and bit me... hard! Cry when you need to. And talk! You need to get it out.

Regarding the guilt: How can we honor those who have passed if we give up on our own lives? They'd want us to live, not spend the rest of our lives grieving for them.

Please take care and keep us posted. You're not alone.

Old 05-15-2007, 01:56 PM   #3
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Oshkosh WI
Posts: 3
brewtown_ska HB User
Re: Crying out for some help

Hi Toffee,

I've recently started dealing with some delayed grief from the loss of my mother when I was 10. I'm now 22 and really hurting. I know how hard it can be to open up and talk to someone, let alone cry infront of them. I've spent many a night/day crying by myself. If it's too hard to open up to a councilor yet, I would suggest writing an online journal. I've had one for a little over a year, and i've found that I feel a whole lot better when I get some of those thoughts gathered onto it. Much like writing in a journal, but instead, what you write is legable when you want to go back and read it, and if there are friends or family that you want to share with but have a hard time talking to, they can read it and understand a little bit of what youre feeling....or not at all if you want to keep it to yourself. Try gathering your thoughts there, perhaps that would relieve some anxiety of getting it out to a friend or councilor.

Hope it helps,

Last edited by brewtown_ska; 05-15-2007 at 01:57 PM.

Old 05-15-2007, 02:10 PM   #4
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Charleston, SC USA
Posts: 79
Psimer HB User
Re: Crying out for some help

I would seriously consider professional counseling. Grief counseling is good but it sounds like you may have other issues beside just grief. I know it isn't easy but a good therapist can change your world. Their job is to listen and help you deal with your sadness. Please consider it.


Old 05-15-2007, 03:19 PM   #5
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 94
violaa HB User
Re: Crying out for some help

i lost my dad a yr ago march and went into a deep depression over getting better now but i still hurt n cry alot tryed cousling and they wanna throw by polor off in it somthing i know by GODS grace iam not i found that talking to my hubby when the pain is so bad that i want to hit anyone that gets in my way helps and also i talk to my pastor alot hang in there hun it will get better if you need to cry then cry and yell if thats what ya need to do death is one of the hardest things to cope with my prayers are with you and if you need to talk iam here if you need to be blessed sis my prayers are with you always

Last edited by moderator2; 05-15-2007 at 06:42 PM. Reason: posted contact info

Old 05-16-2007, 03:45 AM   #6
Junior Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Indiana
Posts: 35
jason74 HB User
Re: Crying out for some help

Toffee1, know that you are not alone. I went through the same things you are going through. The pain does lesson. Things get better. As others have mentioned, writing a journal and counseling are two good ways of working through grief. I did both. I even picked a person I trusted to read my journal as this was easier than talking to them directly about things.

The number one way to get through grief other than giving it to God is getting it out. The more you get it out, the more you deal with it head on, the faster your healing will take place. Supress the pain and it will stay with you forever.

You have to go through grief. Why not deal with it and be done with it. My wife died last June and God has already healed me. I think this is an unusually short period of time but anything is possible with God. Ask him for his help.

God bless

Old 05-16-2007, 09:55 AM   #7
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Kent
Posts: 81
Toffee1 HB User
Re: Crying out for some help

Thank you everybody for your wonderful replies. I got myself a book to start writing a journal but as yet have not written anything in it - I seem to find that when I am feeling certain things I am not in a position to be able to write them down and when I come to do it later - I dont remember exactly what I was feeling at that time but I will try to do that more definitely.

I think with counselling because I have tried a couple of times and have not found the right person then I am just anxious about not finding them again and a bit sceptical about it not working again.

But I know you are all right I do need to get it out I just need to find the right outlet for me that works and as yet I am not sure what that is.

Thanks again. Warm wishes.

Old 05-16-2007, 11:36 AM   #8
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Charleston, SC USA
Posts: 79
Psimer HB User
Re: Crying out for some help

Finding the right therapist isn't easy but once you find that person things will fall into place.

Writing is good. If you don't want to put it into a journal, open up Word and type until you have nothing left to say. It doesn't have to be a great literary piece, in fact most of mine are just thoughts and feelings that seem to ramble on, but for some reason, putting it out there really helps you work through issues.


Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
crying all the time star5757 Diabetes 2 05-02-2010 04:29 AM
is crying and depression due to underactive thyriold? vickie45 Thyroid Disorders 25 05-05-2007 07:53 AM
crying ,crying,crying is this depression or what? vickie45 Depression 4 05-03-2007 04:05 AM
Crying Spells!! Please Help Me!! Sherri5186 Depression 11 05-02-2007 08:34 AM
Help! Can't wake up for crying baby! sleepydad07 Parenting Issues 15 04-22-2007 10:15 AM
Help Crying Won't Stop During Detox ODAAT2 Addiction & Recovery 4 02-06-2007 03:49 PM
crying Jess22 Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 19 06-29-2006 05:48 PM
Lost it at Dr. Office!! CRYING! d38 Menopause 11 02-08-2005 07:49 AM
Cant stop crying my eyes out!!!! HELP ME Ronny love lexi Teen Health 195 06-26-2004 01:25 PM

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:37 PM.

Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2016 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!