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Old 05-24-2007, 12:30 AM   #1
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shan105 HB User
just want to tell my story of loss

My Dad died just over 2 years ago. He had renal cancer which spread to his spine and brain. He was only diagnosed 4 months before he died. He is always on my mind and I am still so incredibly hurt. I dont cry as much, but I am still angry that he is not here and that I didnt get to spend more time with him. I had just turned 18 when he died and he will miss so many things in my life that I know he would have given anything for. Mum mentions, and i know he loved me and her so much and he was very proud of his only child. Oh, i am sounding so selfish, but I am, I want him to be alive and want to be able to give him a kiss and say I love him again. Life is so unfair and unexpected at times. I have so many wonderful memories and i happy for that.

 
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Old 05-24-2007, 07:25 AM   #2
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Psimer HB User
Re: just want to tell my story of loss

The funny part is that he is with you. He sees you every day. And you keep him alive because you keep his memory alive.

Your dad sees you every day. He is there for you and don't ever think he isn't.

Sara

 
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Old 05-24-2007, 09:30 AM   #3
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Re: just want to tell my story of loss

oh shan, life is so unfair sometimes. its not the same, you physically want to give him kisses, and have him talk to you back. its not the same. i am sorry you lost your daddy so young. life isnt fair, i guess now we have to work on surving our loss. ((((())))) your dad is so proud of you, he has an open window in heaven to see you., and u are not selfish. i am an only child too, sometimes i feel so alone because i dont have a sibling to share my feelings with.

 
Old 05-24-2007, 05:41 PM   #4
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Re: just want to tell my story of loss

Thank you both for your kind words. I have good and not so good days which is to be expected. Yesterday was a sad day as I came across a powerpoint presentation of photos I made and was shown at Dad's funeral. I even put on the song that was played with it at the funeral. Watched it twice, first time alone and I was a messy sobbing sad sack, the second time I showed my boyfriend-who came along 2 weeeks before Dad died and has been with me ever since-and was happy pointing out and explaining the photos.I love that you said he is always with me and can look down on me.I believe this.
Does anyone have any advice or words of wisdom on how to deal with greif?

 
Old 05-24-2007, 08:15 PM   #5
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Re: just want to tell my story of loss

It's amazing how everyone has their own way of dealing with grief. Some of us cry while others con't show their pain-or are afraid to. I enjoy it when my family gets together and we'll chat about mom-she passed away last July-we'll laugh-cry-over old memories.......take care, Cherie

 
Old 05-25-2007, 08:42 AM   #6
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Re: just want to tell my story of loss

I will let you know when I figure out how to deal with this with wisdom, because I dont want this scenerio . : ) . may I say that if it wasnt for God , I have been able to pray to help me with strenght each day, patience, to help my children and mom thru this. and I feel there is an open window in heaven that he can see the happy times. well i guess the sad times too ((()))

 
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