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Old 06-08-2007, 03:21 PM   #1
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Colorado
Posts: 15
holly45 HB User
I Lost a friend, Husband's best friend, I am afraid I lost him because of it

I lost a good friend almost a year ago, I never felt so much pain in my life. I had lost people I was close to but maybe it was the fact that not only was he my friend he was young (26), it was sudden, and he was one of those few people in the world that just made it a better place. What makes this harder is that he was my husbandís best friend and only close friend. My husband made life plans around him and he did the same for my husband. When all his friends were moving on in there lives this friend stayed. They were very close and he is lost without him. His friends have been little help, the only ones who really could help are too self-absorbed or living in another state. Only one friend has even really been there, but I donít think she is in a place to be there for him the way he needs. Every time something good happens there is always this hallow feeling, and I can see it in his eyes. He has stopped, he goes through the motions of every day life but I know they mean nothing to him anymore. From the beginning he has tried to remain strong for others, we have tried our best to support his friendís family and be there for them. He also looked at the photos from the accident and I know they only make it worse. (It had to be done and better him than the father)
I know he would never seek help, and he will not take any meds, I know not to even ask. I just want to be able to help him, because it hurts so much to see him like this, I canít imagine life without him and to see him like this just kills me. I wish I could just trade places with his friend because I know he would be much better at this than I am.

 
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Old 06-11-2007, 04:10 AM   #2
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Indiana
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jason74 HB User
Re: I Lost a friend, Husband's best friend, I am afraid I lost him because of it

My wife of nine years died suddenly in an accident at our home. She was 29. My six year old daughter and I got to find her in the front yard. I got to feel for a pulse and see her in a way that could destroy a person. I was so devastated; I was a mess.

I also knew that this was to big for me. I couldn't handle this by myself. One night while having a 'major' breakdown, I decided to ask God for his help. That was a turning point for me.

I had lots of peolple tell me I should get on medicine and had a doctor ready to prescribe something, but I knew God brought this pain on me for a reason. If he wanted me to go through this terrible pain, I wanted to feel all of it. Words cannot express how awful the pain was.

I prayed that he use it to glorify him. I prayed that he use the pain to change me. I am living proof of what he can do. It has been one year since she died and I am doing awesome. My kids are fantastic. God is so wonderful.

If I had one peace of advice to give you I would tell you to pray for him. Pray that God be with him and pray that he give everything to God. I have seen a lot of people suffer for years and years with their grief without God. Why suffer if you don't have to. I have lots of life left in me and I am not going to waste my short time on earth grieving. I chose to live for God.

I will pray for you both

Jason

 
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