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Old 07-04-2007, 08:58 AM   #1
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: South Africa
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avon14 HB User
sibling grief

Hi all. I am new to this. I need to share my story & hopefully hear from others who have lost a sibling. I found my brother, Peter, after 31 years, only to lose him again after 70 days. He had a heart attack at the age of 37, 3 years ago & i still feel so empty without him. People cannot seem to understand why i should miss him so much, considering that we were seperated for so long. Strange things happened between Peter & myself in those few days we knew each other. I remembered him from my childhood & always longed to find him. Almost everyday, we would experience the same things. If my blood pressure fell, so did his. He had spinal damage,as myself, due to a fall, in the same street. He could feel my physical pain 10km away and a day before he died, i knew something was very wrong but did not know what it was. My husband and others were stunned at the connection Peter & i had. I was told by my son's girlfriend, that if she had not witnessed for herself what was happening between him & myself, she would never have believed in it. I am so confused about it all & wonder if other brothers & sisters have experienced similar things? When he died, it felt like i had too. Would love to hear from others.
Thanks

 
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Old 07-07-2007, 11:07 PM   #2
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: usa
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lylee HB User
Re: sibling grief

Quote:
Originally Posted by avon14 View Post
Hi all. I am new to this. I need to share my story & hopefully hear from others who have lost a sibling. I found my brother, Peter, after 31 years, only to lose him again after 70 days. He had a heart attack at the age of 37, 3 years ago & i still feel so empty without him. People cannot seem to understand why i should miss him so much, considering that we were seperated for so long. Strange things happened between Peter & myself in those few days we knew each other. I remembered him from my childhood & always longed to find him. Almost everyday, we would experience the same things. If my blood pressure fell, so did his. He had spinal damage,as myself, due to a fall, in the same street. He could feel my physical pain 10km away and a day before he died, i knew something was very wrong but did not know what it was. My husband and others were stunned at the connection Peter & i had. I was told by my son's girlfriend, that if she had not witnessed for herself what was happening between him & myself, she would never have believed in it. I am so confused about it all & wonder if other brothers & sisters have experienced similar things? When he died, it felt like i had too. Would love to hear from others.
Thanks
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. You said people dont understand why you should miss him so much. I can. Its not that difficult. You finally found someone after years, you must have felt overwhelming joy. Your dreams come true. Just because you are not with someone or dont know where they are doesnt mean you dont love them everyday just as you would if they were in your life physically. Sometimes when we are with the people we love we take that for granted, and then when they are gone we realize all the things we should have said. I think on that first reuniting you both said the things people regret not saying to each other. I am glad you found him and were able to discover the unique bond you both have. That is amazing.
You said "when he died, it felt like i had too." I'm sorry you feel that way.
There are no magic words- at least not that i know of- to change the way you feel, but at least you were able to see him, and find out the amazing connection the two of you had (or have depending on your beliefs). I just lost the love of my life- we spent 6 yrs together but was hoping for 60.
I cant tell you the pain I feel, words cant do it justice. I feel lucky to have found the love of my life, I never knew I was capable of loving someone, a man, that intensly. It was truly what you read about in a fairy tale, it was magical. It doesnt mean I dont feel like my world is falling apart because i do.
What we had was something many people go their whole lives never experience and if those 6 yrs are all I have, then they are enough to last me a lifetime.
Sounds like you were one person in two bodies in certain ways.
Please take care of yourself. And when you do, know that you are taking care of part of your brother, too. So, love yourself, be kind, nuture and be understanding to yourself because there is a part of your brother in you, not just in your heart but something more than most people have. Thats why he felt what you felt and you felt something going on with him. You are a lucky person, too.

 
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