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Old 07-18-2007, 09:43 PM   #1
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Does that pain ever go away?

Does the pain ever go away? I lost my mom a year ago to lung cancer. She was a non smoke all of her life. I just wonder why she of all people developed this illness.

She was my best friend and I miss her every day.

 
Old 07-19-2007, 12:03 AM   #2
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Re: Does that pain ever go away?

My friend,

The mother earth is moving from millions of years and every one has to play a small role for few years.the one who is in has to be out one day.keep your mother memories in your heart and believe me you ill meet each other beyond time and space.keep your energy level high and perform your vital role here.

take care & i would love if you smile

 
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Old 07-19-2007, 12:40 PM   #3
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Re: Does that pain ever go away?

I don't know what that other poster was talking about but it will take time. You lost a mother and a best friend all in one. It is a special relationship and you have to grieve. There is no special way to deal with all the pain but maybe if you could go to a grief groupl it would help. I lost my husband and have felt the need to reach out to others yet sometimes I just want to be alone and think of my husband. I pray your pain lessens and you heal. My thoughts are with you.

 
Old 07-19-2007, 02:26 PM   #4
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Re: Does that pain ever go away?

I worked with a woman who was a member of the American Cancer Society. She also died of lung cancer.

My mom died Easter Sunday. I don't think the pain goes away as much as it changes. I still cry when I start thinking about my mom. But I also know that she is with me every day. She is with her sisters and they all look after me. Why do I know this? Because at a time when I was very sad I was about to end my life. Then in the middle of it, someone who never called me, called. Totally unexpected. And by the time I was off that call, I knew I would never take my own life. And I knew that they had stopped me.

I talk to them. I know they hear me. And I know they take care of me. It's the most natural thing in the world.

Sara

 
Old 07-19-2007, 05:52 PM   #5
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Re: Does that pain ever go away?

I wish I could tell you that the pain goes away ,but it doesn't really. It's been 3 years for me. I CAN say that it eases a little ,but I still miss my mom every single day ,and I still need her. I was recently diagnosed with lupus and I wish my mom was around to comfort me . But I guess on the positive side I am becoming a stronger person. I.ve had to rely on my own inner strength to get through the crisis's in my life. It's hard ..but I know my mom would be proud of me. I still "talk " to her and ask for her guidance when I need it. . . I do think she hears me. I think we will be together again someday and that gives me some comfort. Hang in there. the pain will never go away ,but it does get a little less sharp.
Kate

 
Old 07-19-2007, 06:34 PM   #6
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Re: Does that pain ever go away?

Pain does go away, but very gradually. But as you suffer, think of all the good that your mother did for you in this earthly life and what she is doing for you on the other side. I try to unite my suffering with Christ's suffering on the Cross, because he has asked us to. Peace does come eventually to you but if you reach out and comfort & aid others, it will come much faster to you. Peace

 
Old 07-23-2007, 02:48 PM   #7
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Re: Does that pain ever go away?

I lost my Mother and husband of 30 yrs all within.. 11 months.they passed away.. as a Christian I had Gods help in healing. my heart. He can take the sting out of the hurt over time......

 
Old 07-23-2007, 09:17 PM   #8
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Re: Does that pain ever go away?

Thank you all for your kind words.

Kelley

 
Old 02-21-2008, 05:55 AM   #9
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Re: Does that pain ever go away?

Quote:
Originally Posted by CarenR View Post
I lost my Mother and husband of 30 yrs all within.. 11 months.they passed away.. as a Christian I had Gods help in healing. my heart. He can take the sting out of the hurt over time......
Yes.

 
Old 03-29-2008, 09:28 PM   #10
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Re: Does that pain ever go away?

Nothing prepares you for the death of a loved one, but pain eventually diminishes as time goes by and taking one day at a time helps a lot. I lost a dear man who was like a father to me and although he has been gone for a little over six months, I still think about him every day and miss him.

He had been sick for many years and when he went into the hospital and had a machine to help him breath and I saw that he wasn't going to wake up again, I knew it was fair to let him die. One of his daughters asked me what happened if he was just trying to live for them, and I told her to talk to him and let him know that it was OK if he wanted to rest in peace. So, she did that and his family and close friends told him that he could go, that they would be OK. Thank God he died peacefully and although it was hard to see him die, I know he is now resting and watching us, and that eventually we will meet again.

Last edited by Neta100; 03-29-2008 at 09:28 PM.

 
Old 04-05-2008, 06:15 PM   #11
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Re: Does that pain ever go away?

I am in the same boat. I lot my first husband unexpectedly (stupid expression-who expects it?) when I was 45. Devastated. I met a wonderful man, Ken, 2 years later who made my empty life complete. He was the real love of my life. We had only 7 years, and he died a horrible death from lung cancer. The only reason my first grief lessened was because of him. My grief for Ken will never end. I've been here before; I know this is different. I will exist, but I will never live again. I promised my (adult) children that I would call them if/when (it's already happened) I have suicidal thoughts. I will never follow through on them only because I know it will cause them the same pain I am feeling. So, I agree that it will come to a ;point where you can exist with it, but nothing will ever be the same and you will never live again. Sorry to be such a downer.

 
Old 04-14-2008, 09:55 AM   #12
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Re: Does that pain ever go away?

Wow. I am overwhelmed by all of this: I had a small but close family until the 1980s hit and people became too busy to take the ride to LI or to NJ to visit. Some of my best memories are of all of us being together for holidays. And the 1990s hit us. HARD. In 1992 my stepfather, who raised me, and my first born Daniella (I had a very rocky marriage), went to ER w/stomach pain, needed an emergency ileostomy and was in ICU for almost a year, passing EXACTLY at 3:16 AM on Daniella's 17th b'day (the time she was born); he was buried on their 35th wedding anniv. In July 1993 my ex died as did my grandmother in September, but she at least had lived a long wonderful life and passed at either 89 or 92, we were unsure of the records since they fibbed about their ages to come to America from Italy. In 1994, my uncle suffered a massive heart attack and died in the Bahamas while there on vacation. To add to pain Delta 'lost' the body for about 55 hours. And my mother, though devastated by each hit, tried to rally then was hit herself: first by breast cancer, then emphysema and then scleroderma. She died in November 2001 just before my birthday. I still reach for the phone at 11 AM every day because that is when I called her since I started to work.

The hole in your heart never completely heals from the passing of your loved ones but faith allows you to move forward and know in your heart that they are no longer suffering and that they are watching over us. Still, I mourn not only the loss of my parents who were respectively 58 then 67 when they passed, but the fact that my girls lost out on being with these two warm wonderful funny compassionate people as part of their lives.

 
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