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Old 07-29-2007, 03:39 AM   #1
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I am so so stupid.

Can you help me with a problem. I have got myself into a state a real bad one and I am scared stupid. I am suffering real bad grief this year and have lost the plot completly. My dad died in March after being very ill. My hubby thinks it is just an every day occurance and has not supported me at all. I have gone awol and have been drawing money from my hubbys credit card. The card people phoned my hubby. He asked me whether I had done this and I said no. Why oh why did I not own up then now I have made it worse. What do you think I should do. Come clean. I am now worried about her marriage. This is not normal behaviour for me at all.

 
Old 07-29-2007, 06:03 AM   #2
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texastom HB User
Re: I am so so stupid.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jane_57 View Post
Can you help me with a problem. I have got myself into a state a real bad one and I am scared stupid. I am suffering real bad grief this year and have lost the plot completly. My dad died in March after being very ill. My hubby thinks it is just an every day occurance and has not supported me at all. I have gone awol and have been drawing money from my hubbys credit card. The card people phoned my hubby. He asked me whether I had done this and I said no. Why oh why did I not own up then now I have made it worse. What do you think I should do. Come clean. I am now worried about her marriage. This is not normal behaviour for me at all.
Hi
You are not going insane you just need help comming to terms with the loss you feel,
I feel that you should sit your husband down first and tell him you need his help, your husband may not quite fully understand how much you may still miss your dad ,or how difficult it must of been for you to see you dad ill before his death, I do not know your home situation, but I think that it might be best if you try to explain to your husband first how much you really miss your dad first, then explain how you feel inside ,and then admit that the missing money from his account was taken by you only because you thought spending the cash might of helped you with grief ,and you wanted to try to occupy your mind with something else...then you should tell him that it is his help you need to help you come to terms with your dads death. You are not going insane many women suffer a great deal of grief after loosing a parent/parents plus we men tend not to fully understand grief that a women feels when it is her dad that has gone from her life ...afterall your dad was the first man in your life and for most of your life as you grew-up .

 
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Old 07-29-2007, 06:20 AM   #3
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marshmallow HB User
Re: I am so so stupid.

Grief can make a person do some strange things but you should tell the truth. Not only will you feel better but its the right thing to do. Your husband probably already knows its you and the only way to clear things up is honesty. Your husband may not realize the grief you feel as some people dont. Maybe if you talk to him he will see what it is doing to you. I am sorry for your loss.

 
Old 07-29-2007, 10:44 AM   #4
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thaliak HB Userthaliak HB Userthaliak HB Userthaliak HB Userthaliak HB Userthaliak HB User
Re: I am so so stupid.

You are not stupid, Jane.
You have just done something not very smart. But what happened to the good old " I am really, really sorry" story to your husband?
Then be prepared that he may be a little bit angry but keep apologizing so that he really does get it that you really are sorry and that you will not do it again.
You must also explain how sad you feel about your dad and that you are looking to him for support. This is what the priest means when he says " for better ...for worse?"
And ALSO, tell him that you love him and that what you have done in a moment of weakness will not start a new ...trend. I think he will eventually understand. Just be patient and loving and see if you can offer him payment in ....kind?
Good luck.

 
Old 07-29-2007, 11:15 AM   #5
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Re: I am so so stupid.

Time for you to be in therapy. Either grief counselling or regular therapy. You know that your behavior is not the way you would have acted before you lost your father. What you are doing is an act of grief and you are reaching out for help by taking the money.

You are hurting inside. You can't be objective right now. So go into therapy and get someone who you can talk to about your sadness and depression.

Sara

 
Old 08-01-2007, 01:45 AM   #6
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Jane_57 HB User
Re: I am so so stupid.

Thankyou all for your replys. Where do I go for help? I don't know how to start telling my hubby. He is going to go off of his head at me for lieing to him. Why oh why did I do this.

 
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