Last Friday two friends were killed in a helicopter crash. I find myself in a fog every since. Can't sleep and have no appetite at all. Crying spells, I imagine you can relate.
What is making this difficult is the crash was filmed. I work in the news business as did my two friends (they were in a news helicopter). It's hard enough to deal with loss but to have the last seconds filmed, it just really makes it insufferable. I feel how the people who had family/friend in the buildings during 9/11 must have felt....you can't believe you know someone in that building/helicopter that was destroyed. It feels very surreal.
And, this isn't fair, but I feel angry at people who say "they are in heaven". I KNOW they mean well but I just don't feel like hearing that right now.
I just want to feel angry, upset and overwhelmed without hearing that "God needed another angel". It feels belittling, as though we don't have a right to be upset.
I don't know. I find myself snapping at people. Tough stuff. Thanks so very much for letting me vent today.