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-   -   God, I miss my mom!!! I'm new to this site. (http://www.healthboards.com/boards/grief-loss/520912-god-i-miss-my-mom-im-new-site.html)

rayne081 07-30-2007 10:57 PM

God, I miss my mom!!! I'm new to this site.
 
She died April of 2001 a couple weeks before my son's 1st birthday. Sometimes, it hits me suddenly (even now after all 5 years) and I have to cry. When, I hear old songs, or even look at the Cosby show, I'm reminded of a time when all seemed right and secure with the world, with my life. Never in a millon years would I have imagened that I would be 25 years old without my mom. Even as I type this I'm crying. There are so many things I want to talk to her about, so many new experiences I want to share and get her advice and help on. Sometimes I feel like I'm winging it as a parent and I would give anything to just talk to her again, feel her arms around me, reassuring me like no one else ever will, the way a mom does. She always made me feel like I could do anything, be anything. I look in the mirror and I see her looking back at me. I just don't think it's fair, my children will never know what a wonderful person she was. She was 51 years old when she died of colon cancer, I was 18 going on 19 at the time. Time has made it more easier to cope with, but what do you do when you get those...moments..when all you can do is cry?

Psimer 07-31-2007 06:38 AM

Re: God, I miss my mom!!! I'm new to this site.
 
My mom died in her sleep Easter Sunday of this year. She was 81 years old. I miss her terribly. My dad is still here and he grieves for her every day. I miss talking to her and sharing with her. I miss being able to tell her how I am feeling and what's going on in my life. I love my dad but he's a problem solver. He can't just talk things through like women do.

But I know that she is with me. I feel her arms around me and I feel her in my heart. That's what makes it possible for me to go on. My sisters and I cried so many tears at the funeral and we still get on the phone and call each other and cry. But I cry for me, for what I am missing. And yet, she is here with me. And she is keeping me safe.

I know your loss. I know the feeling of missing the good advice and the time to talk. I miss having tea in the afternoon with my mom. But I did have those times with her and I will never forget them.

Sara

cactusqty 07-31-2007 09:04 AM

Re: God, I miss my mom!!! I'm new to this site.
 
Dear Rayne,
I am so sorry for your loss. Losing one's mother is truly the most difficult trial to endure. My mom died of colon cancer also (15yrs. ago) It was so difficult to watch her throughout this draining cancer that took every fiber of her bieng, she went down to 65 lbs.. My children were 6 and 4 at the time...they too will never know thier wonderful gramma. Tears came easily, and often the first few years after her death. She was truly my best friend. Not a day goes by that I do not think of her, and like you I regret all that she has missed out on with my children. I am a woman of faith, and I know without a doubt that we will once again be reunited...and that is what helps me to survive. I too look in the mirror and see her staring back at me....I feel the depth of your pain...I remember feeling so distraught when I would see mother's and daughters out together...very painful. I do know Rayne, that time heals the pain and solitude...it truly does. We go on for our childrens sake, and even for our own sake....not easy, but inevitable. Please know that even though your mother is no longer by your side, that she is always within you, and she is proud of who you are, and how strong you are. I don't need to tell you that....but writing it to remeber it even brings me comfort.
Take care

jennq78 08-03-2007 04:44 PM

Re: God, I miss my mom!!! I'm new to this site.
 
Rayne,
New to this board too. I feel the same way. Lost my mom to breast cancer in 2002. She was only 48. I was just starting my life with my husband and son and found out I was pregnant with my daughter before she passed. I'm 28 now...5 years later and still cry at times. Mostly songs, special moments, etc. My biggest saddness is that my children didn't get to know her. My sister just got married last month. I cried so hard it seemed like it wasn't a happy day. Glad to know I'm not the only one that still grieves.
Jenn

Debbie1954 08-04-2007 02:44 PM

Re: God, I miss my mom!!! I'm new to this site.
 
You are not alone. I too lost my mom a little over a year ago. I talk to my younger sister almost every day and invariably we talk about mom. Let the tears come when you need to. To suppress them can take there toll on you later, I learned the hard way. If you feel you might benefit, a grief counselor may help. I've been seeing someone for the past 2 months and find it helpful. Not sure what your home or work situation is, but sometimes having a "safe" place to talk, cry, vent etc. can really help. God Bless

gooby 08-04-2007 04:02 PM

Re: God, I miss my mom!!! I'm new to this site.
 
[QUOTE=rayne081;3128051] Time has made it more easier to cope with, but what do you do when you get those...moments..when all you can do is cry?[/QUOTE]

You simply cry.

My mom passed about 15 years ago and I still cry about it at times. It simply means you miss them. Be careful though. There are situations where folks do become overwhelmed and go into depression which has a really bad affect on their lives. If this ever becomes such a situation, it is time to see the doc for some help.

Other than that, realize that crying is normal when you grieve and it takes a long time sometimes to reach a point where it doesn;t hurt so bad that thinking about your lost ones makes you cry.

It is a part of life but it still sucks.

marshmallow 08-05-2007 10:45 AM

Re: God, I miss my mom!!! I'm new to this site.
 
I am so sorry for all of you that lost your mother. I lost my mother in 85 and a son in the 90's. A month ago I lost my husband. The grief and sadness is so intent right now. I just keep wishing I could feel my husbands arms around me one more time. Today is a beautiful sunny almost perfect day and I just feel empty.

rayne081 08-07-2007 04:01 AM

Re: God, I miss my mom!!! I'm new to this site.
 
This is in reply to Jenq78: I know, time does make it more possible to adapt your life without her in it, but it is still painful at times. I remember the day after she died I got lost on the freeway (it was at night and I left my glasses at home) Without thinking twice, I whipped out my cell phone to call my mom (she was excellent at giving directions..she would joke, "you couldn't find your way out of a paper bag" I was ALWAYS getting LOST! lol. After the phone rang a few times it hit me like a ton of bricks..She wasn't going to answer the phone, because she died. I was officially on my own, it was time for me to find my own path in life, she wasn't going to be there anymore. And I've been trying to do that every since, trying to live a life that would make her proud and reflect the great values she instilled in me, the profound way I was raised. But sometimes, I could still use her special light...for my path.

gooby 08-07-2007 05:24 PM

Re: God, I miss my mom!!! I'm new to this site.
 
[QUOTE=rayne081;3140976]This is in reply to Jenq78: I know, time does make it more possible to adapt your life without her in it, but it is still painful at times. I remember the day after she died I got lost on the freeway (it was at night and I left my glasses at home) Without thinking twice, I whipped out my cell phone to call my mom (she was excellent at giving directions..she would joke, "you couldn't find your way out of a paper bag" I was ALWAYS getting LOST! lol. After the phone rang a few times it hit me like a ton of bricks..She wasn't going to answer the phone, because she died. I was officially on my own, it was time for me to find my own path in life, she wasn't going to be there anymore. And I've been trying to do that every since, trying to live a life that would make her proud and reflect the great values she instilled in me, the profound way I was raised. But sometimes, I could still use her special light...for my path.[/QUOTE]


amen


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