This is a very difficult situation. I think you need to decide if there is anything you need to say to him before the inevitable happens. You may want to forgive or not, or get something off your chest, even if he is not in a state of mind to respond. Once he is gone you wont be able to say it again and may regret not doing so.
Its never to late to go to counseling, I do. Seek strength and advice from God.
Originally Posted by Unhappy one
My Dad is dying , but I can't bear to go see him. We have never been close as i've grown up I've never been anygood in eyes. Constant arguments and put downs. The occasional bit of Physical violence towards myself or other members of the family. My trust in him was totally destroyed by his behaviour towards me when I was just 14 my Mum was away and he was angry at me as I wsan't in when he came home from work - after lots of shouting and me being in tears he apologised called me over sat me in his lap and kept kissing me nothing intimate but enough for me to go to bed with a Knife under my pillow because of how uneasy he made me feel.
I'm 41 now just a couple of years ago one of my older sisters told me Dad had abused her as a child, it confirmed to me my fears about the situation all those years earlier.
But Dad is 90 and very sick now he has been suffering from dementia for over a year and has recently been moved from Nursing home to Hospital. his death is only hours away as food and water were withdrawn a week ago rather than operate on him again and delay the ineveitable.
I feel awful as although one of my Sisters knows none of the rest of the family know why we don't get on, I can't bring myself to go to the hospital with Mum or others. I feel like I've been depressed for years - I don't want to tell them why but it hurts so much- i don't know wht to do.