[B][FONT="Comic Sans MS"][SIZE="4"]Dear Sweet Niki7979, Dont try and fight the depression, it is there for a reason. But no matter how hard it gets, remember how far you have come from the first day you lost your dad. Back then every second of your day hurt. Think back. Your depression from your loss will come and go for a long time, that is the normal part of grieving. It took you a long time to just have a good day huh. Now with the anniversary coming up it will hurt. I know this because my daughter lost her best friend 1 year ago today. She was dreading the anniversary, and today she cried. She had anxiety attachs. When it first happened she could hardly breathe. Then came a depression so deep she couldnt leave the house. She herself was suicidal. It was about 4 months until she could leave the house on her own. (she just turned 18) Today she knew that she had to cry. She didnt want to, but she knew that she had to in order to heal. She lit a candle and had some alone time. She went through alot of counselling along with medication. Everyone grieves differently. I am so sorry that your moms birthday is on the same day. That will be hard, but you will survive it. Time does heal all wounds. The loss of your dad will always hurt honey, but someday it wont hurt so bad that you are dreading the anniversary date. It will be a day for reflection, and to remember all the good, with out the bad still hurting you. You are still healing believe it or not, and this will take years. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE SAD, IT IS OKAY TO BE SAD! You cant rush it. We all wish we could rush through feelings we dont want, but it is your body healing you. I dont know if you believe in God or not, but he is watching over you, and so is your dad. Hang in there sweetie, things will get better with time!! Feel free to write back if you want.