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Old 08-03-2007, 05:04 PM   #1
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Niki799 HB User
Unhappy it seems theres nothing to take the pain away

no matter how hard i try to stay away from depression, it finds its way towards me. I cant understand why though, it seems that the only thing that helps is to not think of the murder of my dad and the sorrow built up inside of me. but its hard not to. i have done realy good the past couple of weeks, but once the # 1 trigger points my way, it all over with. I miss my dad so much and it is almost a year lets see its been 11 months and 12 days but still i cry, and stay feeling the way i have felt for the past year. im a lil nervous, since the one year point is coming up.......not including that my daddy was killed on my moms b-day so thats gonna be qiute a celebration. my goodness i dont think i can make it, anymore. i get stressed out so badley and nothing seems to help. i have went out of town so i couldnt seee my counsiler, but now that im back in town i sheduled me an appointment they have to call me back.....its really hard to loose someone

deleted

i miss him soooooo much i cant stand it anymore, i try not to think about it. but ppl say that it is bad not to think about it. so i dont know what to do

Last edited by Administrator; 08-03-2007 at 10:38 PM. Reason: Please read the Posting Rules.Thank you!

 
Old 08-03-2007, 09:22 PM   #2
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Re: it seems theres nothing to take the pain away

[B][FONT="Comic Sans MS"][SIZE="4"]Dear Sweet Niki7979, Dont try and fight the depression, it is there for a reason. But no matter how hard it gets, remember how far you have come from the first day you lost your dad. Back then every second of your day hurt. Think back. Your depression from your loss will come and go for a long time, that is the normal part of grieving. It took you a long time to just have a good day huh. Now with the anniversary coming up it will hurt. I know this because my daughter lost her best friend 1 year ago today. She was dreading the anniversary, and today she cried. She had anxiety attachs. When it first happened she could hardly breathe. Then came a depression so deep she couldnt leave the house. She herself was suicidal. It was about 4 months until she could leave the house on her own. (she just turned 18) Today she knew that she had to cry. She didnt want to, but she knew that she had to in order to heal. She lit a candle and had some alone time. She went through alot of counselling along with medication. Everyone grieves differently. I am so sorry that your moms birthday is on the same day. That will be hard, but you will survive it. Time does heal all wounds. The loss of your dad will always hurt honey, but someday it wont hurt so bad that you are dreading the anniversary date. It will be a day for reflection, and to remember all the good, with out the bad still hurting you. You are still healing believe it or not, and this will take years. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE SAD, IT IS OKAY TO BE SAD! You cant rush it. We all wish we could rush through feelings we dont want, but it is your body healing you. I dont know if you believe in God or not, but he is watching over you, and so is your dad. Hang in there sweetie, things will get better with time!! Feel free to write back if you want. Hugs, Kari

 
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Old 08-04-2007, 12:21 AM   #3
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SOPHIABELLA HB User
Re: it seems theres nothing to take the pain away

Did I say something wrong? Why was this person moved?

 
Old 08-08-2007, 10:25 PM   #4
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: California
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kandr73 HB User
Re: it seems theres nothing to take the pain away

Niki, we all miss your dad. He was such a bright outgoing person. Life just really sucks sometimes. I know it has been a long year. But it will get better!!!!!!!

 
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