Hi, I am new,my name is Dorothy.I lost my son last sept. 25, 2006. He was 25 years old,his name is Darrell. Darrell was born with a heart condition called tettrology of fallot,he under went 15 heart surgerys,when he was 24 he went into renal(kidney) failure.darrell suffered a coma due to a heart attack,3 months before he died,the coma lasted a month,he lost all his muscle mass,his weight was at 72lbs.Im so lost,i am so angry,I feel like im sreaming inside.I just wanted to hear from any one who can understand my pain,and maybe share some tears with me. thanks
Dorothy, get into therapy. I would not say this if I didn't feel that it would help you tremendously. Not grief therapy but regular therapy so you can deal with the anger you feel over your son's death and what he had to go through just to live his life.
My best friend died last June. He had been having some medical problems and was out on medical leave from work. He had a tooth ache and was having problems finding a dentist to help him because of his other medical problems. The tooth ache turned out to be throat cancer. He lasted three months on chemo and died weighing about the same as your son. I cried and cried because he only 50. He was such a sweet, simple person and his death was so ugly.
Time for you to get the anger out and start to find your way back to some sense of peace.
Dorothy I feel for you....
Feeling angry is one of the first stages of grief. But I believe you must also start feeling sad and finally accept it, if you are going to start living again. That is why I agree with Psimer, regarding therapy.
I am sure you also feel helpless and guilty for not being able to stop him dying! And this can only be addressed by therapy or prayer .(?)
I have done both. Both have helped me in many ways to deal with my baby's death. She also had a heart condition and surgeons tried to dril a whole in her heart to stop her from dying!!( 17 years ago, TODAY!)
So, start doing something, rather than fuming and blaming.
I do understand your pain.
God Bless you!!
I can tell just from your words and your sadness you are one terrific mom. Even despite medical issues - I just know Darrell led a very blessed life - simply from the love that comes thru the screen when you speak about him! I work for a children's charity - my favorite family has a daughter with many rare heart defects, you can't wipe that smile off her face though! She lives to the fullest - everyday. Daily I interact with moms going thru these battles. All are the perfect mixture of strong and ready to break - just like you. Remember that loss is only felt from this side of Heaven! Can you imagine how beautiful it must be? I imagine he walks with God - laughing, carrying on, smiling ear to ear with our Heavenly Father. Perfectly healthy, flying around on those new wings!
Dorothy, children want their parents to be happy. I think Darrell would have loved for you to do something that will help you heal. Have you considered working with any children's charities? If that would be difficult, just anything that helps others. You'll find it helps you as well.
I am so very sorry for your loss. I also lost my son six weeks ago today. I know the pain and devastation you are feeling. I look at a picture and I cry. I can't go to the grocery store because it's so overwhelming seeing all the foods he liked. He was 20 years old, my only child and I adored him. He wasn't perfect but we were so close. He called me constantly and I miss his voice, his hugs and saying I love you mom so many times a day. I believe helping other people in some way will begin to help in the healing process. I plan on letting people know that taking Oxycontin just one time can kill you. My son did. He didn't know what he had was so dangerous. So if anyone reads this pass onto anyone you know the extrene danger of this drug. My prayers are with you.