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Old 09-24-2007, 08:59 PM   #1
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Join Date: Jul 2004
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Shirley M HB User
I lost my husband....

on 9/11/07 and I am so sad, I can hardly function. I had what I thought was a panic attack but don't know for sure since I never had one before. I heard a song on TV that that he played on guitar and sang to me. I had a really deep feeling of fear , so strong (that I'd never see him again) ,and I just prayed and it stopped. He had Cirrhosis of the Liver and never drank in his life. When they found the Cirrhosis 8 months ago he was already in the last stages ! He was so dear to me and now I'm alone. I don't have any family close to me,all are out of state.How do you pass time? How do you get used to being alone?
I just work , cleaning the house to stop thinking.
Hugs Shirley

 
Old 09-24-2007, 10:20 PM   #2
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PSusanp123 HB User
Re: I lost my husband....

Shirley, I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. When I lost my husband, I too, had panic attacks. I mentioned them and my feelings of very deep depression to my doctor and she suggested that I attend a grief counseling group, sponsored through Hospice. While I still grieved, the group helped tremendously. They are understanding and can give you many suggestions to help you cope. The other people in the group are experiencing the same feelings that you are going through. This will also give you the opportunity to work through your grief by talking about your husband, (only if you want to,) which helped me. I know that it doesn't seem possible now, but your pain will lessen in time. Try to keep busy with work and reach out to others when you need to. God Bless you, Susan

 
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Old 09-25-2007, 02:44 AM   #3
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mark78 HB User
Re: I lost my husband....

Hi Shirley,

I can't really imagine what you are going through. I have lost people close to me but to be left alone in the way you describe, so poignantly, must be incredibly difficult. Susan's suggestion sounds very positive. I hope you find some support and maybe the opportunity to share.

Take care,
Mark

 
Old 09-25-2007, 06:08 PM   #4
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snoopy63 HB User
Re: I lost my husband....

Just wanted to say I am so sorry for your loss...I too lost my husband on 7/11/07 from lung cancer after a 4 month battle... the cancer had the upper hand the whole time as he was too sick to go through chemo...he was 47

there is a big void left in my life and the world is going too fast for me...


there is good advice about contacting a hospice ...they will be able to help you find counselling and support...

again...sorry for your loss

 
Old 09-28-2007, 04:02 AM   #5
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Shirley M HB User
Re: I lost my husband....

I am sorry snoopy63,that you too lost your husband. He was very young ! My husband was 73yrs. old but was never ill in his life before the Cirrhosis of the Liver. He never drank ! I just feel so alone. If not for my faith in God,I know that I couldn't survive this great loss.I know that God will see me through. I will also pray for you in your time of need.
Thanks to everyone that posted !
I at least, know there is others suffering too.
I really want to get on with my life and hope that God will lead me to victory !
Love Shirley

 
Old 09-28-2007, 10:36 PM   #6
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CoyoteBound HB User
Re: I lost my husband....

I am so sorry for your loss! I agree with the others about the counceling. You would at least have someone to talk to that has been through the same thing as you or something simular. It's good that you have God and your faith to lean on. You can't wrong there, and he will never put too much on you that you can not stand. Take care of your self and God Bless You.

Jan

 
Old 10-01-2007, 03:40 PM   #7
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Shirley M HB User
Re: I lost my husband....

How do you find a Hospice center in your area? I looked on the internet and didn't find anything. I looked in the phone book too. I really would like to find a group for support.
Hugs Shirley

 
Old 10-02-2007, 06:27 PM   #8
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goldyfm HB Usergoldyfm HB Usergoldyfm HB User
Re: I lost my husband....

First, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband of 25 years to cancer some 9 years ago, so I understand what you are feeling. In answer to your question, I would call the Social Services Department of your local or regional hospital. They can refer you to a hospice group or they may know of a hospital based support group.

Also, I remember the day I punched in a search for death and dying and was lucky to find a online support group early in my widowhood. It was a life saver. I was 46 years old and did not know one person my age that was widowed or had gone through a long caregiving experience alone. Please do a search for widows/widowers and I am sure you will find an online support group. The one I have been a member of since 1998, plans get togethers so you have the opportunity to actually meet some of the cyber family. I have been blessed with many loving friendships through my participation there. They also have message boards and chatrooms and someone is usually around 24/7.

I know that the most important finding of that group was to know I was not alone in my thoughts and feelings. That there were many others who validated my fears and my challenges over the early days. I do hope you can find some comfort wherever you choose to participate.

Please be sure to be kind to yourself at this time. I will be thinking about you and the others so new on this trail.

 
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