angel72

I lost my fiance to brain cancer in July 2006, he was only 30 years old. I was one of his primary caregivers while he was ill as well. I am finding that things are affecting me much more now. I think I was numb for close to a year. I cry at the drop of a hat when I hear certain songs or see certain commercials. I have also been thinking way too much about when he was sick and I can't seem to remember what things were like before. Is this normal? I sometimes feel that someone has played a really cruel joke on me because what happened just should not be possible. I just turned 35 and it seems like everyone I know has their lives together and I just can't make a decision like what to eat for lunch or what to wear on a daily basis. I still can't believe that he is truly gone. I went to therapy early on, but I think in retrospect I was too numb to get any benefit from it. I am having a hard time because I am from a relatively small town and don'tknow of anyone who has been through something similar. I feel like the good part of my life is just over and I hate feeling like this. Reading this board has definitely made me feel less isolated- thank you.