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Old 10-17-2007, 10:25 PM   #1
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 37
kr045 HB User
Alone but not...

I'm 33, married, no children. I have no one left on my side of the family, on my mom's or dad's sides. My husband's family is distant and they don't talk to each other.

My husband is ill, they don't know what's causing it yet, but they are considering it "serious." He's blue from just above the chest, up. I have no where to turn to talk and I'm really scared I'm going to lose my husband too.

My mom passed when I was 12, my dad when I was 24, my brother when I was 27. I have no friends near me because we moved to cross-country a few years ago and between work and attempting to get a college degree, I haven't had time to deal with finding/making friends. And honestly, before this point, I never really felt the need because my husband and I are very close. His mom passed away 3 years ago. Her and I were close, she was like a second mom to me

I feel alone, yet I'm not. I don't want to upset my husband with this, he has enough on his plate without my worries as well. You'd think by now I'd be used to this feeling, but it's really hitting me now that I have no one to turn to for even just a chat.

Anyone else felt like this suddenly? How long did it take for it to pass?

 
Old 10-18-2007, 06:19 PM   #2
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Join Date: May 2003
Location: La Mirada, California
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Re: Alone but not...

I am so sorry you are going through this...
it seems perfectly understandable that you would feel alone and scared...
you lost so many people close to you at such a young age...and now your husbands health is threatened....

I just lost my husband to cancer about 3 months ago... I have a 15 yr old daughter...
my mother has lived near or with me all my life... I am 44. but this year of all years she decided to move to VA...she just left on Monday. My father lives in VA as well...so now both my parents will be on the opposite coast
all my grandparents are gone and I have no brothers or sisters...

I have 2 SIL's and 1 BIL but havent been too much in contact with them
they all live about 1-3 hours away from me....
my BF lives about an hour away.... so I do know what you mean about feeling alone... my husband and I kind of kept to ourselves b/c we didnt need anyone and now he is gone and my daughter has her own life at 15 with friends etc etc....it is all a big adjustment for me...

I know it is hard with your husband... when my husband was sick, I didnt want to burden him with my feelings... we knew he was dying and I knew he had enough to deal with without worrying about me..so I had to put on a brave face and only "get emotional" in the other room...or in the car on errands...it was hard...I can totally understand all you are going through...

again I am sorry...I wish there was something I could do or say to help you

I will just give you a cyber hug ((((kr045)))) and hope and pray that the drs figure out what is wrong with your husband and that it can be treated and cured

 
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Old 10-18-2007, 07:44 PM   #3
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 37
kr045 HB User
Re: Alone but not...

Thank you for your response, and I'm very sorry for your loss as well. I sympathize with you, it must be very hard taking care of your daughter alone like that. I know what my dad went through after my mom passed, and I always had so much respect for him, putting up with me and my brother as he did. I can't imagine how you must miss your husband.

I guess I'm having ups and downs. One point, I'm fine and thinking I can deal with this, no problem, I've dealt with it so many times before (it meaning the dr visits, etc), then the next point I'm thinking OMG what am I going to do?! and just about in a panic wondering how in the world I can handle this again. I'm wondering right now if I should just drop out of college for now, put my degree off, but then, there's not much I can do for my husband right now anyway, have to rely on the drs to figure out what's going on. He had recently gotten a really good job, but now they won't let him work until they figure it. I had quit my job to concentrate on schooling, now I need to go find a full time job and with full time classes too... I don't know, I really want to finish school but I think maybe there's just too much other stuff going on right now...

Best wishes to you. I don't envy your situation in the least, and I certainly fear I may end up in the same all too soon. Thank you again, it does help to know that I don't sound nuts with this. ((((you))))) back.

 
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