I just lost my Mom a week ago. We were leaving for our vacation three days before she left. We still dont know what happened as we are still waiting on results of tests. My sister and I are young, me being the oldest I am taking care of everything and everybody and know Im neglecting myself and my husband. I dont care about anything else but my Dad and sister. My Mom was the world to us and we were a very close knit family. I dont know what to do with myself and hope time takes this pain away or make it easier. I cant eat or sleep. I have this mentality that if my Mom cant eat I cant either and I know how irrational that is. I dont want to seek help because I dont want my family, what is left, to think im weak and cant take care of them. My Mom also left huge debt that no one knew existed we are also so worried about that and how we are suppose to pay that without losing everything we have. I am so sad.
I'm sorry to hear about your mom. I lost my mom this past January and I know the pain you feel.
I also lost my father in law the same month, and at his funeral, the pastor said that Heaven is everything it takes to make you happy. Whatever you want, you've got it. So, rest assured your mom is feasting on all sorts of goodies and having a good old time. So, try to eat something and get some rest. It will really clear your mind and you'll feel better. Trust me, I know.
You don't have to be everything to everyone. Especially now. You have the perfect excuse for NOT being your all right now, so use it. I flipped out, I threw things, yelled at people, and was a complete head case and not one single person faulted me for it. I might have annoyed them a little, but it was understandable. You've got a long road ahead in healing, and you're going to need all your strength for that, so don't spread yourself too thin. That's what I tried to do and it just wears you out.
Regarding your mom's debt, check into that because there might be some insurance regarding if she passes, it might be covered. That was the case with alot of things my father in law left behind: car, credit cards, etc.
If you need to talk, please post, and I, along with others I'm sure, will be here for you.
I went home to see my parents for Easter Sunday. My youngest sister came as well. My mom died in her sleep sometime between Saturday night and Sunday morning.
It takes time. In the begining it is overwhelming but it will get better. Take time to cry and take time to feel your loss. You have lost a great deal and it is something that won't just go away overnight.
I lost my Mamma a week ago to Alzheimers. She followed my father. He died one month ago. So I have lost both parents in a month and two days. I haven't finished grieving for my daddy yet, and now have to add my mother into this. Life certainly isn't fair.
First, stop and take a breath. You are not repsonsible for everything. Your father is a grown man and ultimately is responsible for your mother's debts, not you and your sister, as harsh as that may sound. And for right now, that isn't the most important thing. Usually if you explain that your mother has passed and you are sorting out her finanacial affairs, they creditors will give you some time to get things in order...just a hint.
You need to eat and sleep to get through this. If you find that you can't sleep, go to your GP and ask for something to help you sleep. Without sleep, you won't be able to function or think clearly. Try to eat, even if it is just something small. You may not feel hungry, but you do need to keep something in you to keep going. Food helps with mental clarity also...
Seeking help isnt a sign of weakness. It's actually a wise person who knows when they need to seek help. They realize that they can't do everything alone and need help. Sometimes that little extra help is all you need to help you find the way through the tangle...
you are in my prayers...Time does heal all wounds and it will get easier as the days go on...but it does take time....
It's been a bit of a truggle, having just buried dad and now to have to have buried mom also. We made a trip home to be with her for her final days at the end of sept. and back to bury her mid nov. I'm not sure where or who to mourn....
I'm so sorry you're having to deal with loss upon loss. You're in my prayers. Don't lose hope. Healing will come, but it will take time and tears. My deepest sympathy to your and your husband and sons.