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Old 11-07-2007, 03:35 PM   #1
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Port Colborne, Ontario, Canada
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Molly2Dope HB User
New Here....My Story

My story may be somewhat long, and confusing. I'll try to explain it as easily and simply as possible.
I was adopted as an infant. At the age of 29yrs, I located my birth mother and siblings. I was raised with one older brother, and come to find out that I was the oldest of five children, 3 brothers, and one sister! I always wanted a sister growing up, what luck to have the privilege of learning I had one...instant bond there...my birth siblings knew I existed, and the excitement of us all coming together was insane! The ironic twist for them at our meeting, was that they had been informed that I had been killed at the age of 20 by a drunk driver. To them I was the phoenix rising. Big boots to fill, but I did, because they had no expectations, just elation at my existence. I was overwhelmed with my new "position" as big sis to these younger siblings, but jumped into my role with no trepidation whatsoever. This was 12 years ago.

Jump ahead...October 2, 2006. I recieved a phone call at 6am from my birth brother. Our beloved sister had passed away during the night. Total shock. She had undergone surgery on her knee 5 weeks previous, I believe this was the fifth surgery for ongoing problems. None of us thought anything would be amiss with the surgery, as all went well before. Not this time. My sister died of a massive blood clot in her beautiful heart at the age of 31, 4 days before her 32nd birthday. She left behind a husband, and 3 children. Oh the pain of this......its been over a year, and I still feel it was yesterday. I feel cheated because I only had 11 years with her. What higher power thought it was necessary to remove her from her earthly life and leave my nephews and neice without their beautiful mother? At this time I still have no answers to these questions, and I know I never will. Im not a religious person per say, but Im very spiritual. I try to believe that she had business elsewhere, and had a higher calling, but the little child in me comes out and wants to stomp her feet and scream about the indignity....I WANT MY SISTER BACK!! I did get some counselling after her passing, but as they say, you heal in your own time in your own way. I dont feel like Ive healed much, maybe a tiny bit, but I can fall apart at a moments notice.

I think I'll stop here, as Im sure Ive filled everyone up with my story. Thanks for reading.

 
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Old 11-17-2007, 05:22 PM   #2
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Dayton OH USA
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jdmsmom HB User
Re: New Here....My Story

I am so sorry for your loss. It is not fair, you are right. How can we ever understand the why's??
I am sorry that a year later it is still hard for you. I guess it never ever goes away.
I don't really know what to say except that I am sorry, I am very new at this grief thing, too new. I just joined and read your post, and since no one replied I thought I would. I an not sure if I can share my story just yet, but maybe.
{{{hugs}}}
Micki

 
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