I am 26 years old and lost my Dad two and half years ago to a heart attack. He had had 2 heart attacks previously but it had been years since his last one. Needless to say, this came as a huge shock and a very sudden loss. I was very close with my father even though my parents divorced when I was very young. A few months after my father's death, my boyfriend and I broke up. I feel like I haven't really been able to recover from both of these major changes in my life.
I have gained weight and haven't been able to get my emotional eating under control since my father's death. I am the oldest of three and am sort of the glue that keeps everyone together... I am the tough older sister and have always been this way.
I find myself reeling out of control and missing my Dad more and more each day. I have no interest in individual counseling right now so I thought I'd give this message board a try. I keep busy... go out with friends... and am trying as hard as possible to enjoy life. But there is still this big hole in my heart and I just worry that it is always going to be there.
I hope to gain insights and advice from people that share my experiences and grief. My friends have no idea what it feels like to lose a parent at such a young age.
I lost my dad 3 1/2 years ago in a plane crash. I was 35. My younger sister had just turned 28 a couple of months before. She had also just gotten married for the first time 3 weeks before the accident. (We lost our dad, our older sister, our brother-in-law, our 14 year old niece, and our 3 year old nephew) Needless to say, her marriage didn't last. I think she was married for about 2 years - but it definitely wasn't a marriage that had a fair start. Anyway, now she has met a wonderful man. She gave herself time after the divorce and didn't rush into a new relationship right away. They are engaged and extremely happy. Yes, she still misses our family that we lost tremendously. But she also has found a great happiness that a few years ago she thought was impossible for her to find in this lifetime. So... don't give up hope. I personally know how you feel about counseling - that's why I'm on this message board also - I'm not getting what I need from counselors, psychiatrists, psychologists, life coaches, etc., etc. I keep feeling a need to be understood. And honestly, as crazy as it sounds, I think I'm hoping to connect with somebody who has lost more than one person at one time. Unfortunately, I know they are out there...
I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your Dad. He must have been a wonderful person for you to hurt so much from his absence in your life! We lost our Son who was 16 years old, back in 1998 in a tragic accident at his High School. Here I am 10 years later and still hurting from it. It has really changed me, and weakened me. I am also sorry to hear from the others who have lost their parents. My parents are still with me, they are getting up in age (80 & 77), and my Wife's parents are 92 & 85. We love them and treasure every day that we can visit with them or talk to them. Good Parents are a treasure! The time we have with them is a Gift! I wish you all the best in life. Respectfully, Dan & Tammy.
The Boxing Guru
Thank you all so much for your kind words. I certainly haven't given up hope but find many days harder than others. I try to tell myself that my Dad would want me to live my life and be happy but as we all know it is easier said then done.
A year after my Dad passed away... my Uncle passed away after a long battle with cancer. I think part of the reason I am still having such a hard time with all of this is because I feel like my family has been surrounded with grief for a long time.
I think of both of these men often and try to take comfort in the fact that they are looking down on me.
My goal for the new year is to lose the weight that I gained after the death of my father....