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Old 09-24-2008, 02:42 PM   #1
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edswifee HB User
Its been 68 days since my husband passed away

I'm 36 and lost my husband 7 weeks after we got married. He died suddenly and unexpected of a heart failure while lying next to me in bed. I woke up and tried to resuscitate him but I couldn't, nor could the paramedics or hospital staff. I became a widow less then 2 month after I became his wife.
Tears are streaming down my face while writing this - I cannot find any words for how much I miss him!
Is there anyone who has similar experiences in loosing a loved one and would like to share them with me? I find it very hard to cope and life is not worth living without him.

Thanks for reading.

 
Old 09-24-2008, 05:29 PM   #2
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prtypink80 HB User
Re: Its been 68 days since my husband passed away

Hi I'm sorry to read what has happened to your husband and what you are going through. I wish I could tell you it will get better but I'd be lying to you. I have been a widow for over three months and it still seems it just happened yesterday. I'm 28 and so was my husband when he took his own life. We had been together since we were 15 and we were each others first everything. Our 10th wedding anniversary would have been last month. He hid his depression so well that I was so oblivious. He had suffered all types of abuse from his uncle and his own mother. He seemed fine. Just like you my attempts to revive him were in vain and now I wish I had taken my own life too. My life is over, everthing is painful especially waking up. my life is so unbearable that meds don't help not even to sleep. I am so alone we didn't have any children. It hurts so bad that I'm angry with everyone and everything. I lost all faith and hope in God. I feel dead. I miss him so much. Just know that I'm here and I know your pain, you are not alone. Again I'm sorry ((hugs))

 
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Old 09-27-2008, 02:15 PM   #3
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didi708 HB User
Re: Its been 68 days since my husband passed away

First, I am so sorry for your loss. The almost exact same thing haddpend to me on Aug 2, 2008 with my husband of 15 years. Same bio, just like yours. I think it is a double whammy that we were with them at the end and have to live with thehorrific way that they passed. I know you didnt have the time I did, but your husband and mine loved us both and I am actually like you. I simple do not know which way to turn. I am reading some books on grief and looked up on the internet also. Do anything that will help you. I would tell you its getting better but it isnt. In time, we will both LEARN to function and cope but right now, it is impossible. And ANYONE who doesnt understand what you are going thru and some will not, you just need to bypass them and grieve anyway you can. Do try to stay as busy as possible. I know how the nights are. Almost unbearable and little things that you dont think will make it worse will . I pray for you my dear. I know what it is to awake to this nightmare we are in and it is just that a nightmare. Please hold on and pray. I am not a religious nut but I know that God has pulled me thru so far. I ask for 1 day at a time. God Bless you. DiDi 708

 
Old 09-27-2008, 02:17 PM   #4
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didi708 HB User
Re: Its been 68 days since my husband passed away

First, I am so sorry for your loss. The almost exact same thing happend to me on Aug 2, 2008 with my husband of 15 years. Same bio, just like yours. I think it is a double whammy that we were with them at the end and have to live with the horrific way that they passed. I know you didnt have the time I did, but your husband and mine loved us both and I am actually like you. I simple do not know which way to turn. I am reading some books on grief and looked up on the internet also. Do anything that will help you. I would tell you its getting better but it isnt. In time, we will both LEARN to function and cope but right now, it is impossible. And ANYONE who doesnt understand what you are going thru and some will not, you just need to bypass them and grieve anyway you can. Do try to stay as busy as possible. I know how the nights are. Almost unbearable and little things that you dont think will make it worse will . I pray for you my dear. I know what it is to awake to this nightmare we are in and it is just that a nightmare. Please hold on and pray. I am not a religious nut but I know that God has pulled me thru so far. I ask for 1 day at a time. God Bless you. DiDi 708

 
Old 10-17-2008, 06:40 PM   #5
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skiutah81 HB User
Re: Its been 68 days since my husband passed away

Quote:
Originally Posted by edswifee View Post
I'm 36 and lost my husband 7 weeks after we got married. He died suddenly and unexpected of a heart failure while lying next to me in bed. I woke up and tried to resuscitate him but I couldn't, nor could the paramedics or hospital staff. I became a widow less then 2 month after I became his wife.
Tears are streaming down my face while writing this - I cannot find any words for how much I miss him!
Is there anyone who has similar experiences in loosing a loved one and would like to share them with me? I find it very hard to cope and life is not worth living without him.

Thanks for reading.
I have never posted on any of these sites but felt compelled to this time. I lost my wife unexpectedly 4 months ago and have been totally devastated---as i am sure you are. She was 49 years old and in perfect health prior to this year. I have cried almost every single day since i lost her so i know the desperation you feel. This week, however, i held a fundraiser in her honor. I had a tremendous amount of help from friends and co-workers and we raised over $100K which I will be donating to Johns Hopkins Medical Center where they are working to find a cure for her disease. Doing something positive in her memory has helped me (and my kids) over the past several weeks. It has not eliminated the grief but it did create a positive distraction. I intend to make this an annual event as I realize there is nothing i can do to bring her back---now i just work to make her proud.

 
Old 10-19-2008, 07:23 AM   #6
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didi708 HB User
Re: Its been 68 days since my husband passed away

I too like you was widowed after a happy marriage very suddenly. WHat a want to ask you is this, does it hurt any different to be the man that was left. I feel that all our finances, wills, demand of life are choking me and there is so much to do. He owned part of a business which I had to settle. Just so many things. I am almost overwhelmed some days with the tasks. I lost a wonderful man and would never take anything away from him but I will say this, we BOTH were not ready for this. I know that God never puts more on you than you can take, but I just wondered from a male who lost his wife, is it as hard in doing all the things. I mean no disrepect and I hope you understand what I m asking? May God Bless you and your life. didi708

 
Old 10-20-2008, 10:49 AM   #7
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skiutah81 HB User
Re: Its been 68 days since my husband passed away

Quote:
Originally Posted by didi708 View Post
I too like you was widowed after a happy marriage very suddenly. WHat a want to ask you is this, does it hurt any different to be the man that was left. I feel that all our finances, wills, demand of life are choking me and there is so much to do. He owned part of a business which I had to settle. Just so many things. I am almost overwhelmed some days with the tasks. I lost a wonderful man and would never take anything away from him but I will say this, we BOTH were not ready for this. I know that God never puts more on you than you can take, but I just wondered from a male who lost his wife, is it as hard in doing all the things. I mean no disrepect and I hope you understand what I m asking? May God Bless you and your life. didi708
Let me try to answer your question. First of all, no disrespect taken. In our case, my wife ran the entire house....I hadn't looked at a bill in 23 years. She handled all the finances including our taxes----yes, she was very intelligent and highly organized! She liked it that way so I never knew what we were spending and I liked it that way because I never really cared what we were spending.... However, we co-own several other properties and she handled the entire finances of them as well. I am still trying to understand how she kept it all straight. I am overwhelmed with the paperwork and this grieving stuff doesn't help---I seem to work at about 1/5 of the speed i did before. In summary, I "had it made" before---never paid one bit of attention to the day to day finances and now I am paying the price. I might be a bad example as I know in other households, the husband handles much of this stuff---just not in ours. Not sure if this helps or not.....

 
Old 10-21-2008, 05:36 AM   #8
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didi708 HB User
Re: Its been 68 days since my husband passed away

Thanks so much for your answering me. We are both I am sure in for a long time of being in the unknown. I hope that I did not disrespect you in any way. It sounds like you and I both were lucky people to have had the spouses we had. I know I was and how much I did appreciate him. I just wondered from a male point of view. I hope that in time, you, like myself will be able to function or as I say have just a inch of normalcy back in our lifes. Sincerely, didi708

 
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