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Old 01-20-2009, 04:57 AM   #1
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help wanted over grief

My partner of twenty years passed away in October, she had been ill for many years and we had managed to get married - civil partnership - two years ago. That was a beautiful day. Two of her children have been cold and cruel towards me, they were totally unsupportive of her while she was alive. there are massive debts and when I have sold our home, I will be able to rent for a while and get my head together. I've done all the paperwork and practical stuff, and now I just keep crying and thee's a big hole right inside of me.
I've tried to find chat forums for bereaved women like me, but all I keep getting are tacky chat up sites.
It's the early hours of the morning I can't stand and have been calling Samaritans and they are great. Just seems like what's the point, I'm not suicidal, just going on and on and on, round in circles. Anyone out there know what I mean?

 
Old 01-20-2009, 09:11 AM   #2
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Re: help wanted over grief

oh yes, I do. my hubby of 40 years together. pass on Nov. 8 with lung cancer. im blessed he went peacefully. he had it one year. sooooooooooooooooooooo sad.he was a civil engineer. and when he got sick. income stop. lost our home of 3o years. with forclosure. ran up all credit cards . just to live . use all our savings to live. but he was worth every bit. but now im stuck with all bills. i do the same thing you are doing. walk around and shake my head. still not beliving he is gone. you got to move on . hey, I know its easier to give advice than to take. but believe me you are not alone. even though we feel that way. keep talking and Im hear to listen. a few years ago my son committed sucide. and im still here. so I will have to deal with hubby gone now. take care disney world

 
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Old 01-20-2009, 12:47 PM   #3
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Re: help wanted over grief

Hey Dis, its Caring here.

I just re-read your posts and wanted to tell you two things:

1) keep all the paperwork because I think you can file some of the bills on your taxes

2) also check into whether the state you live in has a thing for catastropic medical expense help. there are sometimes funds for indigent people and all it takes is some forms to be filled out.

 
Old 01-21-2009, 06:19 PM   #4
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Re: help wanted over grief

hey caring, Iv just read about your mom. goodness girfriend. my heart goes out to you. hang in there. and try to take your own advice. which is very hard. let me know about your mom. love faye ( disney world in NC)

 
Old 01-22-2009, 04:04 AM   #5
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Re: help wanted over grief

I've been throwing up and other things over a bad case of nerves.

I cry so much because if my Mikey was here for all intent and purposes, I know he would've been there for me knowing how I'm hurting. For some reason circumstances are occurring that most days BF is not in vicinity for me to use as a shoulder to cry on.

I'm trying to figure out if its just fate that things aren't the way I'd like to be or is it that BF isn't capable of offering me that kind of solace and instead is just good to offer words of encouragement and support but long = distance.

I know that my Mikey wouldn't have been that great in support, I'm not trying to make him a saint now that he's gone because he wouldn't have been kind all these months and years with the drama going on next door especially if he was as sick as he was and it was going on because he wouldn't have the patience. BUT I know that he'd see my pain, and may just hug me and hold me and comfort me in his own clumsy way.

God how I miss that man.

Take Care
Diane

 
Old 01-24-2009, 06:38 PM   #6
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Re: help wanted over grief

caring, hope you are getting a little better. yes, I know you miss Mikey at times like this. try leaning on BF more and let him know just how you are feeling with all these emotions. cant imagine seeing you mom in the shape shes in. take care disney world, faye

 
Old 01-24-2009, 09:24 PM   #7
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Re: help wanted over grief

me again. cant sleep. how can I give advice when Im hurting also. we have got to lean on each other. just wish we could just take this pain away from each other. but we cant. take care disney world. faye

 
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