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Old 04-29-2009, 01:45 PM   #1
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mom of six girl HB User
I need your support, My 28 year old daughter passed away on March 18, 2009

I am feeling so much pain and I don't know what to do. My beautiful 28 year old daughter passed away March 18, 2009. She was diagnosed with Non Hodgkins Lymphoma in 2007. She underwent several rounds of Chemo and a Stem Cell Transplant. Nothing worked. She left behind a husband and a 2 year old baby boy. I am feeling guilty for not being able to save her. I feel that it should have been me and not her. I have 5 other daugter and I get out of bed and make an effort for them. If I could, I would not even get out of the house. Anyone who feels this way or has felt this way please talk to me.

 
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yukipooki (11-05-2010)
Old 04-29-2009, 06:35 PM   #2
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Re: I need your support, My 28 year old daughter passed away on March 18, 2009

My husband passed away December 15th 2008. He also had NHL, 2006 and went through 6 rounds of chemo, was in remission until April 2008. We were told he would have to have a bone marrow transplant. He began chemo again in May 2008, and had his bone marrow transplant in August. He really seemed to be doing well until around the first of November. He went in the hospital on Nov 12th and never came back home. He was in the hospital for almost five weeks on life support before he died. It is the hardest thing I have ever faced in my life I miss him so much it hurts. The chemo or the transplant damaged his lungs and he died from ARDS. Which really means his lungs quit working. I don't know what to tell you. I still could really care less if I wake up in the morning. I sometimes wish we had never went through with the transplant. I know that is the wrong answer, but I second guess all we did. Even though it won't bring him back. I just miss him more and more every day. It hurts, and I feel that the biggest part of me died with him. I don't know how to pick up what is left and carry on. Even though I know I have to I don't know how to.
Susan

 
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Old 04-30-2009, 10:08 AM   #3
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mom of six girl HB User
Re: I need your support, My 28 year old daughter passed away on March 18, 2009

Susan, Thank you for your response. I am so sorry for your loss. NHL is a very bad disease. We were told that it was the easiest cancer to cure. You and I both know that is not true. About 3 weeks before Mandi passed away she developed respiratory problems. She could hardly breathe. It is sad to think that the Chemo is what took my daughters life. I hope you can find comfort in the memories that you have of times spent with your husband. I know that we will never be free from the pain that causes such emotional and physical pain, but we will learn to rely on friends and family for support. I will pray that you find peace. Marie

 
Old 11-30-2010, 07:35 PM   #4
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Re: I need your support, My 28 year old daughter passed away on March 18, 2009

I just read this and although I have not experienced the death of a child, it touched my heart. It has been a while since your post and I do hope life has gotten better for you. I know you will alway miss your daughter and wish it could have been you but I hope things are less intense for you. Trying to ask why these things happen doesn't seem to help but please know there was nothing you could have done yet such guilt is normal.

Saying a prayer that you are able now to remember your daughter with some joy.

 
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