It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Grief & Loss Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 05-21-2009, 11:30 AM   #1
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Va
Posts: 20
CiCi01 HB User
Unhappy I lost my father almost a month ago

I feel torn and empty inside like someone has just taken a part of me away. My father and I were close he would always say "Joined at the hip." I mean this wasn't just any normal father/daughter relationship. I'm 26 and for the past 2 or 3 years, I really got to have some deep conversations with my Dad. He was my comforter, my encourager and always had a smile on his face. I encouraged him at times also.

He was too young to go in my opinion. I don't understand why God would take someone so humble from our family so soon. It was sudden which makes this grieving process even harder for my family and I.

I wish I had gotten the chance to hug him one last time and say "I love you Daddy." but I didn't. He was down-to-earth, could handle almost any situation, and brought overwhelming joy into my life. We joked together and had our solemn conversations. I feel like he was my best friend. He knew what I'm capable of doing more than anyone else.

I'm trying my best to be optimistic about this situation because I know he would want me to be in good spirits.

Crissy

 
Old 05-21-2009, 06:40 PM   #2
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 12
heatherh HB User
Re: I lost my father almost a month ago

HI,

I lost my dad unexpectedly 2 months ago. Don't try to be optimistic right now. You need to grieve no matter how painful it is. I get up everyday and go to work (or the gym) but it doesn't stop the pain. I have an awful lump in my throat and can cry at the drop of a hat. If you don't allow yourself this time to feel bad, it will hurt you later.

While I can't predict how long this will take, you should know that there are others that you can email and hopefully you have a support system to talk too.

Thank you for sharing your grief,

Heather

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 05-22-2009, 07:28 AM   #3
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: kinston,NC usa
Posts: 327
thisworld HB User
Re: I lost my father almost a month ago

you sound just like my daughter. she just turn 27 in Oct. and her dad pass in Nov.2008. a couple of weeks ago. she had a panic attack and went into the hospital. and it was the best thing for her. she is going to a support group now. her dad sounds just like your dad. they where so close. she could tell him anything. they never arqued in 27 years. she was holding his hand and her other hand on his heart when he pass. a bitter sweet thing. get help from others that has deal with the same thing. im here for you. take care faye disney world

 
Old 05-25-2009, 12:01 PM   #4
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Va
Posts: 20
CiCi01 HB User
Re: I lost my father almost a month ago

Quote:
Originally Posted by heatherh View Post
HI,

I lost my dad unexpectedly 2 months ago. Don't try to be optimistic right now. You need to grieve no matter how painful it is. I get up everyday and go to work (or the gym) but it doesn't stop the pain. I have an awful lump in my throat and can cry at the drop of a hat. If you don't allow yourself this time to feel bad, it will hurt you later.

While I can't predict how long this will take, you should know that there are others that you can email and hopefully you have a support system to talk too.

Thank you for sharing your grief,

Heather
I'm so sorry for your loss Heather, I know exactly how you feel. You're right the normal events that I use to enjoy don't seem to excite me as much. I will find a grief support group also. That was one of the first things that crossed my mind

The denial stage is over for me and now I'm numb. Rarely do I cry like I did at first but when it comes I just let it all out. Especially at night when all the memories start to clutter my mind.


Crissy

 
Old 05-25-2009, 12:14 PM   #5
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Va
Posts: 20
CiCi01 HB User
Re: I lost my father almost a month ago

Quote:
Originally Posted by disney world View Post
you sound just like my daughter. she just turn 27 in Oct. and her dad pass in Nov.2008. a couple of weeks ago. she had a panic attack and went into the hospital. and it was the best thing for her. she is going to a support group now. her dad sounds just like your dad. they where so close. she could tell him anything. they never arqued in 27 years. she was holding his hand and her other hand on his heart when he pass. a bitter sweet thing. get help from others that has deal with the same thing. im here for you. take care faye disney world
Hey disney world, thank you for sharing that. It brought tears to my eyes because now I know others are facing the exact same thing. You and your daughter are in my prayers.

That's exactly how my father and I were. We could talk about anything. We watched Tv together, went to church, joked a lot, talked about work and our future. We had such a unique bond from the time I was a little girl. We never raised our voices at eachother just like your daughter and her father.

My father went into work on a saturday night and passed away with a sudden heart attack at work so I never got to say goodbye to him. He was so active so this was totally unexpected.

He lost his mother in his 20's also but as years passed he eventually got married, had a family and had a wonderful career. He would often express his feelings to me about his mother but he lived a life filled with joy and humor. I want to be like that. In time, our hearts will begin to heal.

Crissy

 
Old 05-25-2009, 04:30 PM   #6
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 12
heatherh HB User
Re: I lost my father almost a month ago

I know how you feel. Nights are the worst - I also find first waking up in the morning. I think for a moment that everything is OK but then reality hits. Right now, I feel numb as well. I feel as if it doesn't matter what is happening around me. Also, I feel very much like being alone.

This weekend I was alone with my thoughts. While I was able to think and talk to my mom without crying, I still just wanted to be alone. I didn't want anyone to intrude on my time with myself.

I hope you are OK this long weekend. My dad was in the Army for 20 years and National Guard for 11 years. So memorial day has a different meaning for me now that he is gone. I wish I could go to his grave this weekend (he is in Florida, I am in NJ). I would have liked to lay flowers down on his grave site in the National Cemetary.

I still have to pick up my mom's remains. She was cremated and I haven't been able to get to the funeral home to pick them up. She wants to be released over the blue ridge mountains. I plan on doing that one day.

Take care - Heather

 
Old 05-25-2009, 05:50 PM   #7
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: kinston,NC usa
Posts: 327
thisworld HB User
Re: I lost my father almost a month ago

Quote:
Originally Posted by CiCi01 View Post
I'm so sorry for your loss Heather, I know exactly how you feel. You're right the normal events that I use to enjoy don't seem to excite me as much. I will find a grief support group also. That was one of the first things that crossed my mind

The denial stage is over for me and now I'm numb. Rarely do I cry like I did at first but when it comes I just let it all out. Especially at night when all the memories start to clutter my mind.


Crissy
Crissy, Im crying right now. i dont know exactly the pain you are feeling .but as a mom and with my Jessica. again the hurt of losing your dad at such a young age is so sad to me. Jessica would always called her dad before me and I would always say jessica I know you love dad more than me and thats ok. because Iv never seen the bond of 2 people like them. I had a great dad also. and the night her dad died. she sat on the couch and tears was rolling dow her cheeks. and she said I will never have anyone to love me like my dad did. just yesterday we had a long talk. she lives in New York. and she said mom I feel good today because I know dad is so much better off now. he had lung cancer. i can see both of them together. another bitter sweet thing . she stayed at the hospital and would feed him his breafast. and he would tell, sweet pea this isnt your fault when he saw her crying one time and said we will beat this. i cant write no more crying to hard . hang in there crissy. i will always be here for you. love faye disney world

 
Old 06-07-2009, 11:39 PM   #8
tak tak is offline
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 54
tak HB User
Re: I lost my father almost a month ago

I'm so sorry, my dad passed also, I still can't grasp the emotions and way it's affected me to this day and it's been more than half a year now. I have a 17 year-old little brother, he was closer to my dad than I was. My dad was an alcohlic, but very loving. It was so sudden. A coma from a rarer type of strept throat. I'm so sorry, but thanks for the post because reading what others are going through, though awful and I wish wasn't true, helps me to understand a bit..

 
Old 06-10-2009, 06:15 PM   #9
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 12
heatherh HB User
Re: I lost my father almost a month ago

Quote:
Originally Posted by CiCi01 View Post
Hey disney world, thank you for sharing that. It brought tears to my eyes because now I know others are facing the exact same thing. You and your daughter are in my prayers.

That's exactly how my father and I were. We could talk about anything. We watched Tv together, went to church, joked a lot, talked about work and our future. We had such a unique bond from the time I was a little girl. We never raised our voices at eachother just like your daughter and her father.

My father went into work on a saturday night and passed away with a sudden heart attack at work so I never got to say goodbye to him. He was so active so this was totally unexpected.

He lost his mother in his 20's also but as years passed he eventually got married, had a family and had a wonderful career. He would often express his feelings to me about his mother but he lived a life filled with joy and humor. I want to be like that. In time, our hearts will begin to heal.

Crissy
Crissy - How are you? I've been thinking about you and hope you are OK (well as OK as you can be right now).

Just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you.

Heather

 
Old 06-17-2009, 03:52 PM   #10
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Va
Posts: 20
CiCi01 HB User
Re: I lost my father almost a month ago

Quote:
Originally Posted by heatherh View Post
Crissy - How are you? I've been thinking about you and hope you are OK (well as OK as you can be right now).

Just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you.

Heather
Hey Heather,

Thank you so much you don't know what those sweet words mean to me. I have mercy for anyone who has suffered a loss or has a loved one in the hospital. How are you holding up?

I guess I'm as good as can be. I'm going on with my life and helping my Mom as much as I can. I think about my Dad every single day no matter what I'm doing. I think of the times that I told him he would be a wonderful father-in-law and Grandfather in the near future. I think about how he was so young (in his early 50's.) His father is still living in his late 90's! I love him so much and can't wait to go see him. He's very humorous and down-to-earth just like my Dad was.

Take care,

Crissy

 
Old 06-17-2009, 04:03 PM   #11
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Va
Posts: 20
CiCi01 HB User
Re: I lost my father almost a month ago

Quote:
Originally Posted by my name was tak View Post
I'm so sorry, my dad passed also, I still can't grasp the emotions and way it's affected me to this day and it's been more than half a year now. I have a 17 year-old little brother, he was closer to my dad than I was. My dad was an alcohlic, but very loving. It was so sudden. A coma from a rarer type of strept throat. I'm so sorry, but thanks for the post because reading what others are going through, though awful and I wish wasn't true, helps me to understand a bit..
Thank you and my heart goes out to you. I'm so sorry for your loss It's so shocking when a loved one goes suddenly like that. Just be there as much as you can for your brother also. Being around family and friends that actually understand really helps. You're right, it does make you feel better to see that others are going through the exact same situation.

My Thoughts are with you,

Crissy

 
Old 06-17-2009, 05:38 PM   #12
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: kinston,NC usa
Posts: 327
thisworld HB User
Re: I lost my father almost a month ago

Quote:
Originally Posted by CiCi01 View Post
Thank you and my heart goes out to you. I'm so sorry for your loss It's so shocking when a loved one goes suddenly like that. Just be there as much as you can for your brother also. Being around family and friends that actually understand really helps. You're right, it does make you feel better to see that others are going through the exact same situation.

My Thoughts are with you,

Crissy
crissy and girls. it sad me so much to listen to you talking about your dad. my Jessica loved her dad so much and just today Iv cried so much in missing my love. we will mourn and in time it will get better. but we will always grieve for our love one. when we love so deep. we hurt so deep. my best friend which was just 41 took an overdose and cried out for help but it was too late. just last week. then my gym teachers husband just 42 hung hisself last Thursday. so much is going on now. and its not old people we are losing . all you young ladies remember how much your dad loved you. and try to block out the bad memories and hold on to the good ones. take care faye disney world. keep posting this will help us all.

 
Old 06-18-2009, 01:13 PM   #13
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Va
Posts: 20
CiCi01 HB User
Re: I lost my father almost a month ago

Quote:
Originally Posted by disney world View Post
crissy and girls. it sad me so much to listen to you talking about your dad. my Jessica loved her dad so much and just today Iv cried so much in missing my love. we will mourn and in time it will get better. but we will always grieve for our love one. when we love so deep. we hurt so deep. my best friend which was just 41 took an overdose and cried out for help but it was too late. just last week. then my gym teachers husband just 42 hung hisself last Thursday. so much is going on now. and its not old people we are losing . all you young ladies remember how much your dad loved you. and try to block out the bad memories and hold on to the good ones. take care faye disney world. keep posting this will help us all.
Hey disney world,

I really understand how you feel. My Mom lost her soul mate and I'm trying to be there for her. My heart really goes out to you because I think that's one of the hardest things to go through (losing your other half.)

You're right about blocking the guilt that we have. It only makes us want to cry even more. I look at pictures and sometimes it makes me smile, then other times I burst out crying. Grief is horrible, but it will get a little easier as time goes by.

Crissy

 
Old 06-21-2009, 05:05 PM   #14
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: kinston,NC usa
Posts: 327
thisworld HB User
Re: I lost my father almost a month ago

Quote:
Originally Posted by CiCi01 View Post
Hey disney world,

I really understand how you feel. My Mom lost her soul mate and I'm trying to be there for her. My heart really goes out to you because I think that's one of the hardest things to go through (losing your other half.)

You're right about blocking the guilt that we have. It only makes us want to cry even more. I look at pictures and sometimes it makes me smile, then other times I burst out crying. Grief is horrible, but it will get a little easier as time goes by.

Crissy
Crissy and to otheres that lost their dad. I know today has been very hard for you. talked to Jessica. she lives in New York and she said she took a long run and just thought alot of her dad. and how good he was. she is so proud the relationship they had. the special bond . so many of her friends never knew that in their dads. and listening to their sad stories. it makes her miss and love you dad even more. heres a big hug and kiss to all. love faye disney world

 
Old 06-24-2009, 06:44 PM   #15
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Va
Posts: 20
CiCi01 HB User
Re: I lost my father almost a month ago

Quote:
Originally Posted by disney world View Post
Crissy and to otheres that lost their dad. I know today has been very hard for you. talked to Jessica. she lives in New York and she said she took a long run and just thought alot of her dad. and how good he was. she is so proud the relationship they had. the special bond . so many of her friends never knew that in their dads. and listening to their sad stories. it makes her miss and love you dad even more. heres a big hug and kiss to all. love faye disney world
Thank you Disney World

Yes, Father's Day was painful as I expected. It will take a long time to get use to not calling my Dad and going over to spend time with him as well as getting him special gifts and a card for his day. I know he is happier and with the Lord now so that's what keeps me going. Tell Jessica I said that my thoughts are with her and I know exactly how she's feeling.

Take care,

Crissy

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Unmotivated,lost,depressed,feeling alone. theyarealltaken Depression 3 02-25-2011 09:01 AM
In a brain fog since I lost my mom TopamaxKillsMe Grief & Loss 8 08-05-2009 04:12 PM
My father-in-law moved into my living room with no warning!! inlawtroubles Relationship Health 13 06-07-2008 05:06 AM
I lost my dear mother in law last month to this horrible disease! cindyx4 Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 5 04-26-2008 03:29 PM
Father Has Gone Off the Deep End Liz327 Caregivers 10 04-06-2008 07:50 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Ivorygirl (13), rosequartz (11), slenderella (8), JJ (4), writeleft (4), Charlyssa (3), jesseca (3), caringsister54 (3), Kali333 (2), joybob (2)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1006), Apollo123 (906), Titchou (852), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (759), ladybud (755), midwest1 (669), sammy64 (668), BlueSkies14 (607)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:25 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!