Re: Feel like im drowning
Im so very sorry for all your losses. And yes it does get better, and there isnt a magical day that it does but a process and everyone is different.
I dont know what type heart attack your mother had, but sounds like it came over her all a sudden and unfortunately women ignore signs as they tend to put what ever ails them on back burner to care for family or responsibilities, so I hope you dont beat yourself up.
How long ago did you have the tubal pregnacy? I know it takes the body time to heal and hormones can be out of wack for some time.
I had a tubal pregnacy, lasted almost 4 months before the miscarriage, and it took gosh many months to get through the grief and the physical healing.
Ive lost both my parents, my father was 59 when he had a stroke in his sleep 25 years ago and my mother passed in June 2000 she had different diseases but think her body just couldnt last anymore, she was so frail. Took her home from hospital within a week she passed. Her's was harder on me, not guilts but just felt didnt have enough time with her and she was my best friend.
You are going through some real hard knocks that life can throw you.
Maybe if you will, see your doctor because you may need something to help you get through the days for now, and if youre already doing that, give it some time, but tell your doctor how you are and the difficulties having with sleeping and eating. Your doctor can offer you a support system.
Be kind to your heart Cat, be gentle on your feelings and know that the feelings of emptiness will ease, that the drowning feeling and everything is over your head will eventually get better. And as for finances, well we never have enough money to pay bills, there will always be bills, but if you have debts and having difficulty in paying, call them and explain, you may be able to set up a payment plan...
Let your children be there for you too, even when it is so hard and you feel so numb through the day, keep doing the activities that are important to your kids. Sounds like your partner is there for you, he may not know how you feel but he does see your pain.
Keep talking even when you dont want to, and put something new in your life if you can, something that is different or that you have thought about doing but had excuses for why not.... This can aid in helping your mind and heart.
I think that coping through the day is what we do till we can actually feel again, but you will feel again, and you wont be crying all the time you will start to smile again and the sun will shine for you, when youre ready.
This is a great site to support you.
Take Care Cat
Loving thoughts to you