Re: Loss of the person that i loved..my mom
I am so sorry about the loss of your mom...you do not say how long ago she passed but my dad died just under a month ago from a sudden heart attack, and I have found the pain of grieving excruciating. The first week I felt like I had woken up to find the world as I knew it had been erased. From everything I have been told, it seems to me that everything you are feeling is normal. Each person experiences grief in their own way and you have to do whatever it is that keeps you together. Grief counseling (one on one, not a group) has been helpful for me because it has reassured me that I'm not going crazy with grief, and that all of the conflicting emotions I am feeling are normal.
I have found some comfort in thinking about the good times my family had with my dad, and all of the positive things about our relationship, rather than focusing only on the fact that he is gone. I had to make a slide show for his memorial and although it was hard looking thru pictures and remembering great times our family had with him, it also reassured me that the memories I have won't go away and that we were lucky to have had him for as long as we did. My mom has a picture of him in every room of her house.
I also tried to continue my life like it was before dad died, but that did not work. The therapist pointed out, when we lose someone we love this much, nothing *is* exactly the same again....our life balances out again eventually, but it is a new kind of "normal" and we will gradually learn to adapt to what has changed. It doesn't feel that way to me right now but I am hopeful that there will be some peace later.
Big hugs to you. ********}}}}}