Re: Need suggestions on how to cope
I found a wonderful book at our library: A Time to Grieve: Meditations for Healing After the Death of a Loved One, by Carol Staudacher. Each page has a thought from a survivor who was coping with the death of a loved one, i.e.:
"I want things to return to normal."
"I'm so tired, I don't want to go anywhere or do anything."
"How am I supposed to ever act happy again?"
The author then helps the reader to explore those feelings and provides suggestions about simple ways to begin the difficult adjustment of life with a missing person. This book was so helpful for me after my dad died last month that I bought copies for my mom and my siblings.
If your husband was also very close to your mom, can you tell him exactly how you are feeling? HE might be more comfortable *not* talking, but if you are able to talk about your mom with him, or the two of you could talk to your counselor together, it would probably help to lift some of the weight off of your shoulders. If you need help working through this then let your husband know you are struggling. If he won't listen or doesn't take it seriously, tell your family counselor. You could also change counselors and talk to someone new. You have to take care of yourself and think of what YOU need, or you eventually will be exhausted by it all and not be able to take care of anything.
For me, it has always been easier to keep driving on and stay busy and tired all the time. It was much, much harder to ask for help.