I feel as though I have no direction and am sure of what to do my Dad passed away Sept.15/09 he was termially ill I knew he only had months to live so I spent all my time with him taking him places and on outings I didn't think anything could possibly get worse little did I no that my Mom would pass away shortly after my Dad on Oct.30/09 my parents were together since they were 17 and spent there whole live together I just can't seem to move on I feel like I'm dieing inside I feel so much guilt that I focused on my Dad so much that maybe I forgot about how my Mother was feeling I can't work I can't sleep I rarely leave the house.I just don't no what to do anymore nothing makes me happy my friends and family try and help me but I push them away!
first thing, let me say, iam so sorry for such a loss!
ive been were you are right now, and yes, it is a load to carry!!!
the hurt is so big right now, i know all to well..
i dont know your age, but that really doent matter, hurt is hurt...
a broken heart and broken sprit is also tough...
its going to take some time, you will never be the same, but you will be a stronger person from this..
i still grieve my family, and its been years now, but it still hurts, and theres days i cry alot, and days i feel warm just thinking of them, but that will be...
let yourself grieve, and cry, and get mad, its all ok...
let those family members help you, let them listen to your pain, shutting them out, may not be the best thing right now..
learn to lean on them, and let them lean on you too from time to time, it will help all of you...
also, i learned how to comfort myself, by letting go,,,,
its not an easy road i know, but time will help you..
please find yourself a grief support group!!!
it will help make a differance..
god bless, and remember, your not alone!!!!!!!!!!
Oh my goodness, I am so sorry for your losses. I loss my 21yr old son a little over three months ago. On my son's father side of the family, his great-grandfather, his uncle and unfortunately, my son, all passed away within a 6 wk period. One was 97, one in his 60s and my son, only 21. People mean well, but it is difficult for others to comfort you, especially if they can not relate. There are no magic words to take our pain away.
Im 19 and my sister is 18 and we lost our mom 11 months ago and i just found out i might be lossing our dad to cancer in the next year .. i know how it feels and im so sorry that your going through all of this too.
I have been in the caregiver's role for a spouse. I know that the time you gave your mother a little relief from the everyday care of your father had to be appreciated by your mother. In a way, you may have done more for her by giving her a much needed break from the everyday stress of having a partner who is gravely ill than if you had showered her with gifts and favors. I know that a few minutes alone at such a trying time is greatly appreciated. Try to see it from your mother's point of view. It gave her a few minutes of peace and a mental escape from the reality of what her life had demanded. I do hope you can see that you did nothing wrong and maybe did it all right! Your parents are lucky to have such a giving and kind child.