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Old 01-14-2010, 09:01 AM   #1
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It now has been over a year since the loss of my husband

Hello all, Not sure what I am about to say, but I hope that it will help someone out there. December 15th 2008, I lost the best thing that has ever happen to me. /After coming out of a marriage of 21 years I met a man that picked up the pieces and but together a person stronger than I ever thougt I could be. We married and that will always be the best 7 years of my life. He taught me how to live, laugh and love, I really beleive this. But like I stated he lost his battle to Non-Hogskins Lymphoma having having a bone marrow transplant. He was in ICU on life support for 5 and a half weeks. I never left his side. I remebering coming to this site and looking for answers. People would tell me that time heals. I didnt want to hear that. I thought the sharpness of the pain I was feeling would always be as sharp as it was the day my husband passed. Some days it is, I looked for help through hospice counseling and through boards like this. I would read what people said and use what I wanted to use and disregarded the rest. I had to dig deep through the pain to figure out what my husband would tell me if he were here. I made Decisions that I look back now and know that he had a hand in helping me make them. Even with him gone I relied on his strength. I know he would be pround of me. I have moved from our house that we owned and even moved from the state that we lived in. I guess you could say I have begun my new life. Has it been easy or has it been what I wanted to do. Not in the least, I would love to have him back and our life together. I love him as much today as I did the day he died, I guess you could say that even with the physical move I made, I have also made a move in my heart, there is a place in my heart that belongs to him and our life together. I dont want to say its a sad place or a happy place. If I said anything it would be both. sad that it only lives in my heart but happy that I had the 7 years I had, I guess its kinda like the song by Garth Brooks. The Dance, I could have missed the pain but I would have missed the dance. I dont know what and who my new life will bring. But whoever and whatever happens it will never touch the place in my heart that houses the memories of my life with my late husband. what I guess I really want to say is take your time dont rush anything, Dont make any decisions until YOU are ready. If I have said anything that helps you or even is it makes since use it if not ignore it. I am not even going to go back and read this, This is to help me nore than anyone else, Hang in there. Not gonna say it gets better. Not gonna say you learned to live with it. I just want to tell you that I am in a place that I realize that I have began a new life. I hope people understand this but if not like I said it mostly for me anyway. But would like to hear others thoughts
Susan

 
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Old 01-22-2010, 07:27 AM   #2
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Re: It now has been over a year since the loss of my husband

Thanks so much for sharing your story. I know exactly how you feel as I almost lost my husband two weeks into our 25 year marriage. He survived that scare but I lost him later to cancer. I thought at first how horrible to lose the love of my life at 46 years of age but then when I think of the years we almost did not have and the memories that may not have been, I feel so fortunate to have had that second chance. I too appreciate the influence his actions and love has made in my own life. I feel that he truly was the best part of my life and I try to honor that everyday. Take care and it truly does get easier.

 
Old 01-24-2010, 06:10 PM   #3
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Re: It now has been over a year since the loss of my husband

I to was 46 when I lost my husband. We had only been married almost 7 years. but withoout a doubt it was the best time of my life. I wll always love him and carry my memories of our life together in my heart.

 
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