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Old 02-02-2010, 06:05 AM   #1
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brokenmom HB User
Unhappy I loss my 21yr old son 3 months ago

My 21 yr old son was tragically killed in an illegal, reckless police pursuit! He was riding his "friend's" motorcycle. The officer did not have any flashing lights or sirens activated on his unmarked truck. I know this to be true due to several eyewitnesses accounts. I recently found out that young guys riding motorcycles through that area, have been getting harassed by the police for apparent reason. My son sustained a massive traumatic brain injury as a result of the officer forcing him into another car crossing the intersection. That 21yr old girl's car was totaled, thank God she was not killed. She said that there was nothing that alerted her to get out of the way. I also found out that the officer did not even use his radio to call 911 for help for my son, a man who lived at that intersection called for help. I know this to be true based on the investigators report. How could he be so heartless? I guess he hoped that my son would die so he couldn't tell what happened, why else would he so mean. That officer didn't think that my son had a life, that he was somebody's child, somebody's brother, somebody's grandson, somebody's nephew, somebody's cousin or somebody's friend? My son passed away a week after the accident/murder after being pronounced brain dead. I would like to ask that officer if it was worth it, he destroyed my life. I wonder if he has any children. I have been in constant agony since the day I found out what happened to my son and once he passed away, my torment has been worst. I keep hearing him crying "mommy, look at what he did to your son". I am very angry and I feel so helpless. Mommys can always fix anything, we make the "boo boo" stop hurting and we always protect our children. I could NOT do anything to make him better or make sure he was given another chance. I blame my self for not taking away the keys from him, eveyone was against him riding on that bike! I begged him not to ride. He could have crashed anytime but the fact is, that officer made him crash that night! My faith has been severely weakened, before my son was killed, I always asked God to protect my children and keep them well and out of harms way. I never left my son's side when he was in ICU and I begged God to give him one more chance but he didn't, now I am afraid to pray, I feel like I am being punished. I know that everyone means well but I hate it when people tell me that I will be ok, I am not ok, it will NEVER be "ok", my son is gone. Thanks for listening.

Last edited by brokenmom; 02-02-2010 at 06:07 AM.

 
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Old 02-19-2010, 05:45 PM   #2
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afraidofdying HB User
Re: I loss my 21yr old son 3 months ago

hmmmmmm. I dont know what it is like to lose a child. I cant imagine it. When my husband passed away, my inlaws blamed me. He died in a car accident while I was 10 weeks pregnant. They decided that the baby must not have been his so I hired a hit man to kill him so I could be with his best friend who was the father. I think they got this notion becuase his friend hugged me at the funeral. Of course none of this is true, its insane. However, their grief is so great that they believe it to this day and have not seen their 3 grandsons in over 2 years. I ran into them once in public last summer and they started screaming at me and calling me a murderer. I'm not mad at them, I know it hurts. I wish I could blame them. The fact is, only god can decided these things. A point I wish I had been able to grasp right from the start. The point of my story is, dont let your anger get the best of you. My inlaws did, I did too. It's a horribly destructive path. It's ok to be angry, but make sure its for the right reasons. No, it will never be ok that your son was taken so early, and nothing and nobody could ever replace him. Thank God for every minute you had with him. I feel like such a hypocrite telling you to do this when I havent exactly found away to do this for myself. I know its the answer, I just seem to fail at putting it into practice. I suppose thats "why" I know its the answer. Be kind to yourself and to those around you. They need you to be strong. And try to focus on the blessing your son was, and will allways be in your soul.
Melissa

 
Old 02-19-2010, 05:53 PM   #3
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Re: I loss my 21yr old son 3 months ago

Im sorry, I hope you dont think im a pest, but I wanted to add something. Your son is with god at peace. And he waits for his beloved mother with a smile. You haven't been punished. People die, it's a fact of life. We dont know the reasons for it, on God does. You have no idea what may have happened to your son had he lived. God does protect us, but he doesnt promise that nothing bad would ever happen. Jesus died on the cross. GOD'S SON! What did he ever do to this world but good, and we tortured him, hung him on a cross, and mocked him until he died. This was "God's" child. How do you think he felt? All of that to save a people who murdered his own son. He isnt punishing you. He just loved your son so much, and saw something so special, that he took him a little early. And he's waiting every day for his mom. So be good, and keep your faith, so you can see him again.
Melissa

 
Old 02-20-2010, 03:44 PM   #4
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brokenmom HB User
Re: I loss my 21yr old son 3 months ago

Greetings, Afraidofdying. First let me tell you thanks for all of your kind words and support. I am also sorry for your loss. What you said about the anger consuming me is probably true because it has definately done that. I feel like I can not find any peace until someone is held accountable. The really hard part is that I know who is responsible for my son's demise and now it will be up to a judge. I know that I am at the end of my rope, only God can help me, I just really need to believe that. I welcome your thoughts and wisdom, you are not being a pest. thanks again.

Last edited by Administrator; 02-20-2010 at 08:12 PM.

 
Old 02-20-2010, 04:14 PM   #5
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Hangin in There HB User
Re: I loss my 21yr old son 3 months ago

I have a son about that age and I can't even imagine the pain you're going through. I'm so sorry for your loss. May the Lord give you peace.

 
Old 02-20-2010, 06:02 PM   #6
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afraidofdying HB User
Re: I loss my 21yr old son 3 months ago

Whether you find justice in the court system or not, I hope you find peace.


<edited>



I pray that you find peace, and I pray that you can find comfort.


Melissa

Last edited by Administrator; 02-20-2010 at 08:19 PM. Reason: removed religious references

 
Old 02-20-2010, 06:50 PM   #7
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Timothy1983 HB User
Re: I loss my 21yr old son 3 months ago

Dear Brokenmum.

I came across your post and my heart goes out to you. I am also new here.

Please find someone you can really console in - your husband?




<edited>



I know I lost both my parents in 2008. It is wretchedly painful to lose someone -

but a child is worse in many ways. I have a19 1/2 year old daughter.

Last edited by Administrator; 02-20-2010 at 08:23 PM.

 
Old 02-20-2010, 07:01 PM   #8
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ACurious1 HB User
Re: I loss my 21yr old son 3 months ago

Thank you for your post, Melissa.

 
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