It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Grief & Loss Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 03-02-2010, 05:12 PM   #1
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 2
Catdog123 HB User
MY dad died Sunday night

MY parents were vacationing in the Bahamas and my dad had a heart attack and died Sunday night. I found out yesterday morning, and I was disoriented and I cried yesterday, but today I don't feel anything. I want to eat and I want to watch the stupidest TV. I haven't seen my mom yet or any of my family, everyone is overseas, my mom should be back tomorrow. I don't feel NORMAL, I feel a weird feeling in my chest, but I am absolutely emotionless. I feel very strange when people call or try to cheer me up, they expect me to be hysterical and I'm not.
I love my dad. We weren't incredibly close but as an adult, I feel we were on the road to forming a closer relationship. Is it possible I just don't care? Am I not normal on some emotional level? I know about numbness and shock but I feel that I just am not capable of grief? Has anyone ever felt something similar?

 
Old 03-02-2010, 06:29 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 509
friendsville HB User
Re: MY dad died Sunday night

Please don't knock yourself out because it just hasn't sunk in yet.You will feel empathy for your lost one in due time. Love ya Bill

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 03-03-2010, 12:16 AM   #3
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 5,110
writeleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB User
Re: MY dad died Sunday night

Catdog, you are in shock.

Take all the time you need, to go through whatever feelings, or lack of feelings you need to. This is probably a mechanism your body is using to help you manage though these first few days. A natural defense against falling apart...which would not help.

Grief is a process
I am sorry for your families loss.

 
Old 03-03-2010, 07:28 AM   #4
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 969
justmel30 HB User
Re: MY dad died Sunday night

I agree with writeleft that you are in shock. It will take a little while for your your body to physically adjust, then the emotional adjustment comes. When my husband died, I didnt even want to tell anyone. I remember the people at the hospital looking at me like I was the most heartless person in the world, and I felt at the time like there was something wrong with me. I felt like what I should want would be for my loved ones to be around me. But instead, I refused to call anyone. And I didnt cry. I just sat there. I of course HAD to tell everyone, but I waited for some reason until later that evening. And then for a couple of days I just sat there and watched cartoons. I dont even remember who took my kids. So I think what you are going through is perfectly normal. Like writeleft said, give yourself some time for it to sink in. Hope that helps a little.
Melissa

 
Old 03-03-2010, 04:44 PM   #5
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 2
Catdog123 HB User
Re: MY dad died Sunday night

Thank you guys for your responses, it helps a lot knowing that I'm not some kind of freak. I haven't cried at all today or hardly thought about it. It's like I just can't think about it. My family still isn't back, and I'm by myself, which is actually ok. MY mom hasn't been in much contact with me, and maybe that's why it hasn't hit me at all. Thank you guys again, it really is good knowing people understand.

 
Old 03-03-2010, 05:49 PM   #6
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 5,110
writeleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB User
Re: MY dad died Sunday night

Anytime...

 
Old 03-03-2010, 06:42 PM   #7
Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 68
steve1906 HB User
Re: MY dad died Sunday night

Quote:
Originally Posted by Catdog123 View Post
MY parents were vacationing in the Bahamas and my dad had a heart attack and died Sunday night. I found out yesterday morning, and I was disoriented and I cried yesterday, but today I don't feel anything. I want to eat and I want to watch the stupidest TV. I haven't seen my mom yet or any of my family, everyone is overseas, my mom should be back tomorrow. I don't feel NORMAL, I feel a weird feeling in my chest, but I am absolutely emotionless. I feel very strange when people call or try to cheer me up, they expect me to be hysterical and I'm not.
I love my dad. We weren't incredibly close but as an adult, I feel we were on the road to forming a closer relationship. Is it possible I just don't care? Am I not normal on some emotional level? I know about numbness and shock but I feel that I just am not capable of grief? Has anyone ever felt something similar?
Hi Catdog, Yes you are normal. Your by yourself and thats one of the reason you feel this. When your family returns I'm sure things will feel different to you.

I'm so sorry for your loss!!!

Take care of yourself,
Roy

 
Old 03-04-2010, 12:16 AM   #8
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: sacramento, ca
Posts: 59
grandma2o2girls HB User
Re: MY dad died Sunday night

Let us know how you are doing.

Take care and god bless.

Darlene

 
Old 03-10-2010, 12:34 PM   #9
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: PA
Posts: 103
Pittsburgh_Flye HB UserPittsburgh_Flye HB User
Re: MY dad died Sunday night

I find that "out of sight, out of mind" holds a lot of truth. I too have wondered how emotionally normal I am, as I've suffered 2 major losses in under 2.5 years and for the most part I consider myself pretty "high functioning" through it all.

I chose to be alone and I've been dragging my feet on telling people the news. I am mourning the loss of 2 of the most important people in my life and sometimes I don't feel anything. Just, empty. Like it never even happened and they're just away for the weekend. Sometimes I fear I'm living in too great of denial and one day I'll just crash.

Everyone deals with death differently and I'm not so sure I agree with all the stages of grief - I'm quite certain in my case I skipped many a step in the process but I own my feelings and grief and I guess at the end of the day I'll get thru it in my own way, as will you.

I've decided to stop wondering what's "normal" and just feel what I'm feeling and trust and hope that I'll get thru it, someday, feeling my kinda normal again.

Good luck to you.

 
Old 03-10-2010, 01:08 PM   #10
Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 68
steve1906 HB User
Thumbs up Re: MY dad died Sunday night

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pittsburgh_Flye View Post
I find that "out of sight, out of mind" holds a lot of truth. I too have wondered how emotionally normal I am, as I've suffered 2 major losses in under 2.5 years and for the most part I consider myself pretty "high functioning" through it all.

I chose to be alone and I've been dragging my feet on telling people the news. I am mourning the loss of 2 of the most important people in my life and sometimes I don't feel anything. Just, empty. Like it never even happened and they're just away for the weekend. Sometimes I fear I'm living in too great of denial and one day I'll just crash.

Everyone deals with death differently and I'm not so sure I agree with all the stages of grief - I'm quite certain in my case I skipped many a step in the process but I own my feelings and grief and I guess at the end of the day I'll get thru it in my own way, as will you.

I've decided to stop wondering what's "normal" and just feel what I'm feeling and trust and hope that I'll get thru it, someday, feeling my kinda normal again.

Good luck to you.
Nicely said, I agree with your feelings...Everyone is different!

Roy

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Girl I'm dating, communication has died down... need insight! tartan_army Relationship Health 12 04-05-2010 04:18 PM
My Dad died Marie1973 Death & Dying 4 08-22-2008 12:53 PM
My Mom died on Sunday, Aug 26 mmmcoffee Caregivers 5 10-10-2007 09:25 AM
My son died of cancer 8/25/05-We miss him so... Prayingmom Grief & Loss 18 02-26-2006 09:49 AM
Did my father visit me in a dream before he died?? tcoult Death & Dying 4 08-05-2005 11:03 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Ivorygirl (13), rosequartz (11), slenderella (8), JJ (4), writeleft (4), Charlyssa (3), jesseca (3), caringsister54 (3), Kali333 (2), joybob (2)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1013), Apollo123 (910), Titchou (859), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (763), ladybud (755), midwest1 (671), sammy64 (668), BlueSkies14 (607)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:20 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!