Hi Ashvin.....I just lost my mother a few weeks ago and I am going through many of the same emotions. I am wondering how I will ever be able to rise above this grief and not having her around. She wasn't just my mom but also my best friend....we spoke daily by phone and I think that is the hardest part of it all.
I am a bit older than you.....my mom was able to see me get married and have my two children.....she was looking very much forward to her first grandchild (my oldest daughter) graduate college in May.
I watched my mom gracefully mourn the death of my youngest brother in June.....it was the hardest thing our family ever endured and then New Years Eve mom called me after going to the doctor to check for a fractured rib after falling on the handle of her suitcase saying that the doctor said her liver was enlarged, the bloodwork was abnormal and that an MRI showed something in her liver.
Turned out that she had biliary cancer and it had spread to her liver.....she lasted only a few months. I thought it was a medical mistake....here my mother never had any health problems and had just ran a 5K marathon in October and was only hospitalized when she had her children.
I felt as if the wind was knocked out of me.....I am still numb and in disbelief that in less than a year I have lost two family members. It was difficult enough losing my little brother and then my mom.
I still am numb and in disbelief....yes she was 74 years old but I wasn't ready for this tremendous loss.
I have a strong faith which carries me through but it is so difficult enduring such a loss.
I guess all I can offer you is my understanding and reach out to you and let you know that you are not alone.
My mom was brave and mostly worried about how I would be after she passed on. That was her way.....she taught me how to celebrate the joys amongst the pains and I guess that is how I honor her each day.
My daughter will graduate college in a little over a month and my mom wanted so much to be there. During one of my visits with my mom she gave me a necklace from her jewelry box to give to my daughter on her Graduation Day to wear in case she wasn't able to be there.
Somehow we live Ecclesiastes 3......
A Time for Everything
1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance...
I walk beside you as we mourn our mothers and hopefully we will continue to face the days ahead and live through the seasons as we learn to rise above our grief and honor our mothers and what they have taught us for the short time that they were with us.
May God Bless You and may the memories that you had with your mom help carry you through
(((HUGS))) ~ Ivory