Hi Karen#1 ~ Glad you have the counselor lined up, I am sure that he/she will help navigate you through to a place where you can continue to live your life happily carrying your husband along in your loving heart as you do so. I know it isn't easy, still struggling myself but know that is what my dear mom and brother would like me to do until we are together again.
As for the fish, I am sure that your husband would okay loving homes where somebody, like himself, has a love of fish and will take good care of them.
After going through some of my mother's things, I put aside a few to keep like some shirts I could wear as "comfy" clothes when watching a movie on TV or doing some work around the house so I could feel a part of her near. Perhaps you can do the same with some of your husband's things.
As far as things he loved, I think that he would probably want them to go to somebody who would love them as much rather than just sitting around.
Perhaps there is a friend or family member who would like some of his things.....after we lost mom I had my aunt (her sister), my girls and nieces (her granddaughters) go through some of mom's things and it was comforting for them to choose a pair of earrings or item of clothing that they could have.....you could actually see how having a physical part of my mom to hold onto was soothing to each of them.
Remember to continue to take care of yourself, I am trying to do the same, knowing that is what my mom would like me to be doing while at the same time missing her.
Hi Karen#1 ~ Glad you have the counselor lined up, I am sure that he/she will help navigate you through to a place where you can continue to live your life happily carrying your husband along in your loving heart as you do so. I know it isn't easy, still struggling myself but know that is what my dear mom and brother would like me to do until we are together again.
As for the fish, I am sure that your husband would okay loving homes where somebody, like himself, has a love of fish and will take good care of them.
After going through some of my mother's things, I put aside a few to keep like some shirts I could wear as "comfy" clothes when watching a movie on TV or doing some work around the house so I could feel a part of her near. Perhaps you can do the same with some of your husband's things.
As far as things he loved, I think that he would probably want them to go to somebody who would love them as much rather than just sitting around.
Perhaps there is a friend or family member who would like some of his things.....after we lost mom I had my aunt (her sister), my girls and nieces (her granddaughters) go through some of mom's things and it was comforting for them to choose a pair of earrings or item of clothing that they could have.....you could actually see how having a physical part of my mom to hold onto was soothing to each of them.
Remember to continue to take care of yourself, I am trying to do the same, knowing that is what my mom would like me to be doing while at the same time missing her.
Let us know how the counselor meeting went.
Sending more (((HUGS))) your way ~ Ivory/Karen#2
Hi Ivory Karen#2
Well the counselor was pretty gentle and caring, there were about 8 people there 3 of whom I felt I could relate to, then there was this man that I don't think he was there for the right reasons, he was looking for someone to have coffee with and he was very obnoxious and loud, he just ruined the whole atmosphere, when it was over the other girls also said that it was not for them, they couldn't take him. So I will try another one, I have a few others lined up, whithin the next few weeks.
The fish club is taking the fish now, I am happy, I don't want them to die, as far as anything else, I don't want to touch any of it, I want it to stay where it is.
Take Care
Karen
Hi
Last Tuesday April 6, my whole life changed, my husband of 43 years, passed away from pancreatic cancer, in 7 weeks he went from a healthy man eating good food, excersizing doing all the right things, supposidly, to having a stomach ache, winding up in the hospital Sloane Kettering Cancer Hospital, after he was admitted he got blood clots that broke loose from his legs they say from the cancer, and his blood pressure plummetted and they couldn't get it back up, they tried everything. He never got a chance to fight the cancer, he suffered horribly the last few days of his life, I don't know how my sons and I will ever be able to live with the sight of his tormented face in our brains, although they gave him all the medication they possibly could it just wasen't enough. I don't think I can do this
We actually have almost the same story..I lost my husband 3 weeks ago to pancreatic cancer. It was two months from diagnosis until he passed away. He was in alot of pain at the end, my heart is so broken. I really am trying to live but I am so miserable. I want him back.
Hi Gracie,
I know how you feel, it is unbelieveable, and I am still in shock as i know you have to be. I miss him so much, I still do not believe that he is gone, I am having a hard time accepting that he is not coming back, I feel like I am going crazy sometimes, my emotions are so roller coaster like. come on here and vent, it helps a little
take care
karen
im sorry for the pain you and your family must be feeling. but know that your husband is no longer suffering he is now in peace. It will be difficult but time will only take this away. just live your life day by day and enjoy your life with your children go out on activities with them and just spend as much time with your kids as possible
Hi
I am trying very hard, I went to a grief group tonight, and it was good, I am not thinking that I am losing my mind, other people are describing the same kind of crazy emotions. I am back at work, I wake up every day and I feel like a robot, mindless, just going through the motions, but I will keep trying, some days are a drop better than others,
Take care
Karen
I know Closs what you are talking about. Even straightening up my kitchen which used to take me 10 minutes at the most, now takes me 45 mins. I feel like I am going in slow motion and you described it best, like a robot. Awful feeling inside. I am just wondering when my mental state will come back to normal and when this depression will leave. I never cried so much before in my life.
Hi everyone,
Thanks for thinking of me Darlene, it makes me feel good that someone cares, and understands what I am feeling,
Today wasen't the best of days, I got a burst of bad energy and went into the storage room and started ripping it apart and throwing everything out, not Johnny's stuff but just stuff that was saved. I went a little crazy but It made me feel good. then my son called and I fell apart, and said things I shouldn't of said, and I upset him, I told him that I wanted to go with Johnny, and that I could if I wanted to, I was sorry after, but I was in a very weird mood, and I hope it passes when i wake up. I don't want to lose it.
Good night
Karen
