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Old 06-14-2010, 05:51 PM   #1
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Ivorygirl HB UserIvorygirl HB UserIvorygirl HB UserIvorygirl HB UserIvorygirl HB UserIvorygirl HB User
It Still Hurts.....

It's been difficult......and I find myself dragging and walking along with a heavy heart as the first anniversary of my little brother's death approaches.

He was only 46 and the one I talked to the most besides my mom.

Then we lost mom only months after losing him which was a kick in the stomach so it hasn't been easy....I feel so sad and lost without the two of them around. I spoke to them 3-4 times a week by phone and not being able to do that is so hard.

I have dad and my other brother, we all are feeling much the same as if we lost half our family in such a short period of time.

This week has been so hard.....I find myself crying more than I have in a while.

I guess it's because the 1st Anniversary of my brother's death is approaching.

I feel as if I didn't even get a chance to mourn him before mom fell ill with biliary duct cancer....it came so unexpectedly and we lost her in just months of learning that she had it.

Just wondering when it will get better, this sadness and feeling as if life is moving in slow motion.

I still participate but my heart is so heavy.

It hurts and I miss them so much.

Thanks for listening.....I just needed to write it down and see if anybody else is feeling this way.

~ Ivory

 
Old 06-28-2010, 07:12 AM   #2
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sognoazzuro HB User
Wink Re: It Still Hurts.....

Ivory,

I think that every day you get through is an accomplishment. Ever hear the phrase "a watched pot never boils"? I think grief and loss is like this. It hurts and it sucks and its a drag. You feel sad and heavy and down and you just want it to end. Don't stop yourself from crying if you need to cry. It will feel so good to cry when you need to. When you feel remotely good, latch onto that with something to make you feel better. Read books that inspire, listen to music that will inspire (not sad music or music that reminds you of your loved ones) go for a walk in a beautiful place. Don't focus so much on when it will end. I think one day you will wake up and feel a lot better, feel closure, feel better and the next day a little bit more better, and the day after even more better and so on. There is no formula for when. If you are getting really really sick of feeling this way, see a counselor, actually you should see a counselor anyways because they are trained and educated on how to help you feel with such sad feelings. They may be able to put you on a medication to give your body what it is lacking through this sad time if its been longer than normal, whatever that means. Good luck and remember they are always with you in spirit.

Last edited by sognoazzuro; 06-28-2010 at 07:13 AM.

 
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