The pain will never end
Eleven Weeks ago today I lost my husband. The pain seems to be getting worse. I am still trying to take care of paperwork issues that crop up. I have gotten some of this things cleared out and donated as he would have wanted and I am trying to take care of things around the house. I don't have any family here so I am completely on my own. Not where I dreamed I would be at age 50. I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life; but then again I can't even think of being with anyone other than my precious husband, the joy of my life. Everything is so hard. I hate not having anyone to depend on. I think the worse thing is coming home to an empty house. He was not able to work and could not get out much. So, he was always here when I got home. This pain is unbearable. I know you all feel the same, I also know there is not really anyting anyone can do to make anything better. People keep saying it will take time...but,somehow I don't think "time" is going to change what I am feeling. I depended on him so much. No one, not even my wonderful parents have ever understood me the way he did. I just dont know how I am going to survive.