Re: would you want to live thru this?
Hmmmmmmmm..........I feel for you. As for your question if anyone would want to live through that......well of course not! When my husband passed, and my dad had his stroke the same day, and my whole family was turned upside down.......I felt the same way. And I too got very angry with God. But one thing I learned about myself, and probably about all people in general, is that we all have so much strength. It takes time to find it, but it's there. The fact that you question God's motives tells me that there is faith there, you just dont understand where to go with all of this emotion. That's a rough one! It took me a long time, and I blew up my life in the process. Then I ended up pregnant..........................this was not good! Or so I thought. I now had to change, and find, yet again, a new balance in life. It was a lot of work, but I kept just doing the next thing. If it was scrubbing a tiolet then that's what I did. If it was painting a room, or cleaning a sink, or mowing the grass, or anything else that comes up in day to day living.....then that's what I did. It didn't take very long and I had worked myself half to death, but I realized that although I was still angry, I didn't have the energy anymore to act on it. Then, soon after, something even more amazing happened. The anger turned to shame. So I worked even harder! Not to ignore the situation this time however, but to improve how I felt about me. Today, it's been 7 months since I found out I was pregnant. I'm sober, I take care of my family, I keep everything done that needs to be done and a whole lot of extra stuff too. And even better then all of that, I'm happy. I feel safe, i feel content, I feel thankful instead of burdoned. I think today, that all of these bad things didn't happen as much to me, as they did around me, but that I was given a chance to be okay. And I'm greatful to be here, and I'm hopeful for the future. I hope you if anything, you find a way to force yourself to get up today, and begin to make that difference. You may not feel like it, but it doesn't take long before you realize how much better it is. All of these things hurt, but at least I know today I'm doing my best, and there's pride in that. Good luck to you.