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Old 06-09-2010, 11:48 PM   #1
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Unhappy we recently lost our grandson of 3 days old

we recently lost our grandson of 3 days old . he was born 3 days early by c-section due to vasa previa . its been one month as of yesterday . im at a loss for words to my son and his wife . we all waited 9 months and now were left with a nursery but no baby . i as a nana feel so empty . and as a mom i cant fix this pain like i as a mom have fixed other things for my son . i find comfort in knowing lil connor is in heaven and i will see him again . and i will say this to you ,your baby is in heaven and you will see that lil angel again someday . and as to how to comfort you ,i find comfort in praying and doing things for other children . in honor of connor . in your life ,find someone with a child who needs something and do for that child . i did that today in honor of my grandson and i found it to help me and my daughter in law . God has reasons for everything in our lives . he knows our paths in life even while where still in our mothers wombs . the bible says theres a time to be born and a time to die . we dont know when our time to die will come . so live ever moment of yours knowing he is taking care of that preious lil baby til you get to heaven and can be with your baby again . i know it hurts and it will ,but thats part of the process of healing . love ya

 
Old 06-17-2010, 01:21 PM   #2
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Re: I lost my baby ='(

I am so sorry this happened. I pray you find strength. My niece had a stillborn child. She was full-term and knew for a few days before delivering that her baby was dead. The hospital was not good to her. They sent her home because they didn't have a room available. How do you go home knowing the baby inside you is gone?! The other sad part is they made her go through a natural delivery (induced). She did not even look at the baby though. I don't know how she made that decision, but it was the right one for her. The baby died from the umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck. My sister was there and she held the baby. So heart-breaking. When something like this happens do not make it worse and blame yourself. You need to heal and move forward, in your own time. God Bless.
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Old 06-18-2010, 05:03 PM   #3
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Re: I lost my baby ='(

o all the ladies on this board that lost a baby, I offer my deepest sympathy and I will pray that all of you can get through it and keep your babies in your heart and know that you don't have to feel guilty about anything. Keep loving them, keep crying as long as you need to cry, talk about the love... that is what will stay for ever... the love you feel for that little one and the wonderful memories of feeling that little thing in your womb. Do not be afraid of it happening again. When you are ready to welcome another little one into your life... rejoice, for it's God's blessing to you. And don't think your desire for another baby is to replace the one you lost because it isn't. It is your desire to be a mommy because your heart is so full of love it can't wait to share that love. I was born to be a mommy. That is my greatest a achievement. I have never done anything better than being a mommy. My children are my life. I also felt the joy of knowing I was going to be a mommy and losing it a few months later. I cried... but I never thought my next one was for the purpose of replacing the one I lost... I just thought for some reason he or she was needed in heaven. And I know all those that are not born are in heaven with our Lord.
God bless you all.

 
Old 08-17-2010, 11:41 PM   #4
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Re: I lost my baby ='(

I know all to well how this must feel. I just loss my son Ryder 8/9/10 at 16 days old. I to had him at 6 months and he weight 1 pound 7 ounces. This was not the first 6 month baby, I had my daughter at 6 months. She is 6 now and I though he would be just like his big sister, a miracle child. I was wrong and I got my hopes up way to high. I was confident that the son I always wanted was going to make it. I stayed two weeks in the hospital in a T-bird position just so I can hold off from having him. The way my little man was moving and kicking the nurse's said he was going to be a hand full. Looking towards the future was the only thing I saw for me and my kids. Even though his father and I was on the out's, I was happy about my child. After my c-section I was up and walking just to go to the nicu to see my tiny baby. When I was release from the hospital it was like I never left. Making 2 trips a day to see him, and calling when I woke in the middle of the night. Everything was going good for awhile until August the 9th. I got a call from his doctor telling me my baby was sick. I didn't hesitate it took me all of 10 min to drive a cross town to get to him. His father came and hour later but mommy was there. We stayed with him all day even during change of shifts when we were suppose to leave. The doctors came and told us about his condition. It was and infection in his lungs, his little body was trying to fight it but could not. They gave him some medicine to help him relax so he would not have to work so hard at recovering. I was looking at my baby and he looked so tired with tears in his eyes. The color was different in my child and I was all to pieces. His father was telling me not to count him out, but something in me knew he was not going to make it. My son died at 9:19 pm that day and I haven't been right since. They let me hold my baby for the first time in 16 days. His lifeless body in my arms took all the breath I had in me. I felt like I just died, I was in shock. I felt like I was dreaming and could not wake up. I didn't know what to do next but cry. I kissed his hands, feet, the top of his head, smelt him everything I knew I could not do again. I held my baby for as long as I could and giving him to the doctor was the hardest thing I every had to do. I didnt want to let him go. They asked us what did we want to do we had to go home and sleep on it. All night we tossed and turned then morning came and a decision had to be made. After that I stayed in bed for 2 or 3 days crying. I would not eat take calls nothing just darkness. I cried for the time I spend with him, giving him a bath on my birthday. I cried for the time I wont get to see him grow up hold or smell him again. The look on his face before he died everything. I felt like I was losing my mind. I lost track of the days of the week my life seemed over. I pray to the Lord for strength everyday for my daughter sake. So I know your pain.

Last edited by mommytoRyder; 08-17-2010 at 11:49 PM.

 
Old 08-18-2010, 11:07 PM   #5
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Re: I lost my baby ='(

Quote:
Originally Posted by mommytoRyder View Post
I know all to well how this must feel. I just loss my son Ryder 8/9/10 at 16 days old. I to had him at 6 months and he weight 1 pound 7 ounces. This was not the first 6 month baby, I had my daughter at 6 months. She is 6 now and I though he would be just like his big sister, a miracle child. I was wrong and I got my hopes up way to high. I was confident that the son I always wanted was going to make it. I stayed two weeks in the hospital in a T-bird position just so I can hold off from having him. The way my little man was moving and kicking the nurse's said he was going to be a hand full. Looking towards the future was the only thing I saw for me and my kids. Even though his father and I was on the out's, I was happy about my child. After my c-section I was up and walking just to go to the nicu to see my tiny baby. When I was release from the hospital it was like I never left. Making 2 trips a day to see him, and calling when I woke in the middle of the night. Everything was going good for awhile until August the 9th. I got a call from his doctor telling me my baby was sick. I didn't hesitate it took me all of 10 min to drive a cross town to get to him. His father came and hour later but mommy was there. We stayed with him all day even during change of shifts when we were suppose to leave. The doctors came and told us about his condition. It was and infection in his lungs, his little body was trying to fight it but could not. They gave him some medicine to help him relax so he would not have to work so hard at recovering. I was looking at my baby and he looked so tired with tears in his eyes. The color was different in my child and I was all to pieces. His father was telling me not to count him out, but something in me knew he was not going to make it. My son died at 9:19 pm that day and I haven't been right since. They let me hold my baby for the first time in 16 days. His lifeless body in my arms took all the breath I had in me. I felt like I just died, I was in shock. I felt like I was dreaming and could not wake up. I didn't know what to do next but cry. I kissed his hands, feet, the top of his head, smelt him everything I knew I could not do again. I held my baby for as long as I could and giving him to the doctor was the hardest thing I every had to do. I didnt want to let him go. They asked us what did we want to do we had to go home and sleep on it. All night we tossed and turned then morning came and a decision had to be made. After that I stayed in bed for 2 or 3 days crying. I would not eat take calls nothing just darkness. I cried for the time I spend with him, giving him a bath on my birthday. I cried for the time I wont get to see him grow up hold or smell him again. The look on his face before he died everything. I felt like I was losing my mind. I lost track of the days of the week my life seemed over. I pray to the Lord for strength everyday for my daughter sake. So I know your pain.
My heart aches for you in the loss of your precious little angel. The Lord knows what He does and you can be sure he is safe where he is right now. I know the sadness is immense and it feels like nothing will ever be the same. And it won't because no one can erase the time that your baby was a part of you and that is very important to remember. Those little conversations you had with him when he would give you a little kick to say I love you mommy. I bet you have wonderful memories of those months you carried him within you. You have Ryder's sister, thank the Lord everyday that she is healthy and get back to being the mommy she needs. I'm sure she sees your suffering and doesn't want her mommy to be sad all the time. Take things one day at a time... get help if you need to from some kind of support group or talk to a grief counselor... talk to women that also experienced the loss of a child a while back and have gotten to that place where they can now talk about it and offer you the best advice... for you it's too recent... get back to your routine... your family needs you... they are suffering too. Healing takes time. Take care of your health... do things that will keep your mind occupied... and that doesn't mean to try to forget him... that won't happen... just to help you get through it. I will have you in my prayers tonight and your little angel too.
God bless,
LMF

Last edited by luvmyfamily924; 08-18-2010 at 11:25 PM.

 
Old 08-21-2010, 09:21 AM   #6
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Re: I lost my baby ='(

Thank you so much for the kind words. I have been trying to keep busy and I see my babygirl trying to keep me happy. I feel better when she is around so I try not to look sad all the time. I miss him so much but I try not to let the pain of his loss consume me. My daughter needs me so I grieve in private that helps. And I have been talking to a few friends that I did not know are going throught the same thing. God Bless you

 
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