I am wondering if some one can help me over come my anxiety attached to my greif.
My Daughter Tracey passed away over ten years ago from a over dose of heroine and she was only 21 with a small child who is now 14yrs old.
I had my grandson come stay with me and i had only moved into a new home a wk proir to him coming and why he was staying the welfare did not want me to tell him me was staying with me.
This caused a lot of stress as they wanted me to lie for them. Tyson my grandson knew something was going on and he acted out really bad.
I did get so frustrated with him one day as he swore at me and I slapped his face.
I have regreated that from that moment on and I stopped seeing him as I was not prepared to lie for the welfare and he was unsettled and so was I.I am still very angry in side with myself for what I done and I am trying to see him now.
I blame myself for Traceys death and the fact that I did not speak out to Tyson about the truth and what was going on.
I have tried to stop this yet I feel like I am in a web.
When she was on the drugs and seeing her b/freind which was a heavy user/jailed a lot of times I turned my back on her and her life as i did not know how to cope.
I felt I just didn,t want to know as it hurt so badly.
I do not want to see greif counsellors as I have had a life of going over the same channels of counsellors and honestly got no where as I got sick of hearing them repeat themselfs and not telling the truth in a lot of ways.
I don,t talk to my family alot about it as I feel I do not get heard and no one has gone to Centennial Park to show respect for her.
I would love some help from people that have gone through this and then I maybe able to move on.
Where i am living there is a lot of this happening and I feel angry and very confined to staying at home .Please help me I would love some advice.