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Old 09-21-2010, 11:51 PM   #1
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How do I support him?

Hi

I don't know how to start this, but I'll just say it. My boyfriend's dad is dying, and I don't know how to support him. We've been together for 2 years now, and are very serious about each other. (we live together and have cats) So, he's back home basically taking care of his dad until he passes

I am 2k miles away "holding down the fort" as he would say. The thing is that I'm kinda sad that I will never get to meet his dad. We're really serious about each other and he wanted me to meet his dad too, but his dad was getting worse with cancer, and didn't want anyone to see him like that. We both respected his wishes.

Anyway, it's a little tough for me to put myself in his shoes because I've never lost someone close to me. I'm there for him hands down, I can't help but feel bad that I don't know what he's going through. I want to help him but I just don't know what I should do or say?

 
Old 10-06-2010, 11:35 AM   #2
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Re: How do I support him?

Watching someone you love die isn't a pleasant thing.
What you need to do for your guy is to be there for him. Whether he wants to talk, watch TV, take a walk or just cry..you need to be there. Just tell him that you know there is nothing you can say to make it better, but you are there for when he needs you. Ask him to tell you about his Dad. What he remembers from when he was small as he grew up. You will gain a picture of his dad through his eyes..it's the best therapy you can give him, AND it will give you a picture of his father without having met him.

Try not to be too demanding of him at this time. He needs to know that you understand and that he can focus on his father. Tell him that you miss him, but will be here when he needs you.

good luck, my dear.

 
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