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-   -   Mother blames 17 year old son for her dying (http://www.healthboards.com/boards/grief-loss/826465-mother-blames-17-year-old-son-her-dying.html)

OregonGirl001 12-05-2010 07:11 PM

Mother blames 17 year old son for her dying
 
Help! My new husband has been an alcoholic since about the age of 17 when his mother looked him straight in the eye while on her deathbed and told him he was the reason why she was dying. Don't know how a woman could do that mental damage to her own son. He obviously drinks to kill the pain of remembering what she told him. I'm looking for direction in how to get him help and to realize that he didn't contribute to his mother's death. Any suggestions would be welcome.

writeleft 12-05-2010 07:31 PM

Re: Mother blames 17 year old son for her dying
 
I do not know how old your husband is now, but with his alcoholism being many years in the making, it is highly unlikely that there is anything you can simply say to help him out of this.

He will likely need in patient treatment where he can both stop drinking safely, as well as receive in depth counseling to unravel years of trauma induced by the words of his mother.

First he will need to make the decision that he is ready for treatment. Without his complete participation, overcoming alcoholism is impossible.

It is very compassionate of you to be willing to start your marriage off with such a daunting task, but your future together will be highly uncertain if the drinking is an unwanted partner in your relationship.

Has he expressed a heartfelt desire to do what it takes to stop drinking, or is this more on your part? In what ways have you seen his drinking impact your relationship so far, if any? I wish both of you the best as you start your new life together.


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