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Old 01-16-2011, 09:41 AM   #1
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canusa2 HB User
Unhappy Lost my husband Nov 09 2010

I lost my husband Nov 09 2010 unexpectedly, due to a heart attack. I am so lost and I too take medication for the pain. I don't know how I go through each day without him. He was my world, I feel like a trap door was opened underneath me that day. I remember screaming when they told me he was gone. I cry every day and try to put on a normal face at work but my heart is so heavy it's hard to smile anymore. I went home to Canada for Christmas but that only made things worse as I watched everyone else enjoy the season. When I see sickly or older people in public all I can think of is why is my big strong husband gone and they're still here? I know this is selfish of me and I can't change what's happened, but I miss him so much I ache. I have no family where I live right now and friends only want to hear about your loss for so long then they start to avoid you. I go to see a grief counselor twice a month and I think it's helping a bit. I just want to feel normal and be who I used to be, the lady who cheered everyone else up and made them laugh. I am so sorry that you too have lost your husband, no one understands your pain unless they've lost a spouse. I lost my mother when I was 15 and the pain I felt then is no where near the pain I feel now.

 
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Old 01-20-2011, 08:01 AM   #2
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terbar HB User
Re: Lost my husband Nov 09 2010

Quote:
Originally Posted by canusa2 View Post
I lost my husband Nov 09 2010 unexpectedly, due to a heart attack. I am so lost and I too take medication for the pain. I don't know how I go through each day without him. He was my world, I feel like a trap door was opened underneath me that day. I remember screaming when they told me he was gone. I cry every day and try to put on a normal face at work but my heart is so heavy it's hard to smile anymore. I went home to Canada for Christmas but that only made things worse as I watched everyone else enjoy the season. When I see sickly or older people in public all I can think of is why is my big strong husband gone and they're still here? I know this is selfish of me and I can't change what's happened, but I miss him so much I ache. I have no family where I live right now and friends only want to hear about your loss for so long then they start to avoid you. I go to see a grief counselor twice a month and I think it's helping a bit. I just want to feel normal and be who I used to be, the lady who cheered everyone else up and made them laugh. I am so sorry that you too have lost your husband, no one understands your pain unless they've lost a spouse. I lost my mother when I was 15 and the pain I felt then is no where near the pain I feel now.

Last edited by terbar; 01-20-2011 at 08:02 AM. Reason: not replied

 
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Old 01-20-2011, 09:19 AM   #3
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Re: Lost my husband Nov 09 2010

I too lost my husband on 5th Nov 2010 and I know want you are feeling as everything you are feeling I am feeling. We moved to France in 2005 and have just finished renovating our house and opened as a b & b in July 2010. then in Nov he has a heart attack and died in front of me. I am now all alone in France waiting to sell our home as my sons live in the UK and I want to return to the UK. It is so hard to just do anything,

 
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Old 01-20-2011, 03:33 PM   #4
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Re: Lost my husband Nov 09 2010

Oh I am so sorry to hear that you're feeling the same pain as I am. Your words brought tears flooding to my eyes. I wish we were closer so we could meet and share our sorrow in person. lt's so hard being away from family when you feel so much agony at your loss. I have some days where I feel better but not normal. The anxiety is eating me up and I don't like to take the pills as much as I need them. Hearing about so many heart attacks lately makes me wonder if there is a future after my pain stops. I like to think that there is, even though it will never be the same. The loneliness without my family close by is the hardest. I will be moving home in 4 months, sooner if I can afford it. I want to heal with my loved ones around me. Bless your heart for being so strong to stay in France right now. If I can do anything let me know.

Take care

 
Old 01-21-2011, 12:25 AM   #5
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Unhappy Re: Lost my husband Nov 09 2010

thank you for your reply, I think that in it has helped me to know that there is other people out there feeling the same and I am not alone in feeling this terrible pain, I feel as if my heart is going to break. I have to stay in France until I sell my house so I can buy one back in the UK.

 
Old 03-14-2011, 11:30 AM   #6
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pattianne24 HB Userpattianne24 HB Userpattianne24 HB User
Re: Lost my husband Nov 09 2010

I too, lost my husband two years ago. Today would of been my 46th anniversary, we met as kids-boy next door, I was 14 he was 17. We married 3 years later. My husband
was a diabetic, and they discovered he had liver cancer a couple months before he died. He got a bladder infection which led to kidney failure and he was gone in a couple of days. My youngest daughter worked at the hospital where he died. I didn't think I had the strength to get through this at all. I did go to a grief support group, went to church alot more, just to keep my spirts up. I must say that the pain never ends, but it does get easier to cope as time rolls on. I am crying as I write this post, just the memories of him brings tears to my eyes. I tried to think of a reason why I am still here. I know what it is now, my youngest has stuck by me and now she is experiencing a very, very, hard situation herself, she admits that I am her sounding board, I try to hear her out and give her support as she does the same to me. She is the only family that has stuck by me through-out this. All I can say on a positive note is, it does get easier, the pain of the loss gets easier. Take each day as it comes, and you will see just how strong you are. One day at a time.
Pat

 
Old 03-15-2011, 05:45 AM   #7
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Re: Lost my husband Nov 09 2010

Thank you for your kind words, some days are harder than others but I am trying to keep busy to make the days go quicker.

 
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