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Old 01-16-2011, 06:42 PM   #1
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faeriegirl25 HB User
Unhappy Lost My Dad, 1/11/11

Just looking for some support, maybe some words of encouragement from someone who can relate to my situation. On 1/11/01 I lost my dad to a massive heart attack. He was 65 years old. So young. That morning he went out to shovel snow after a snowstorm that hit our area. He came in the house complaining of shortness of breath and chest pain. He was taken to the hospital by the ambulance where he coded within an hour. My mother and I were unable to go to the hospital with him because we couldn't get the car out of the garage, and we trusted he would be okay.

The doctors were waiting on blood results and I was able to speak to him on the phone. He sounded so tired, and out of breath. Yet he assured me he felt a little better. Had I only known he would be gone from us a few minutes later. They tried for over an hour to bring him back...but he was gone.

I just feel so lost...so empty. I feel like I am living in some dark abyss. I couldn't go to the funeral, I just couldn't bare to see him there alone. I know he wouldn't of wanted me there if it was going to bother me so badly. Now that he is buried, I just feel numb. I feel like I can't cry. I'm angry and I keep thinking he is just out visiting his friends and that he will walk in the door at any moment. I was in shock for a few days, but now the numbness has set in. I can't cry, I just sit and stare ahead. The t.v. is on, but I barely watch it. It's just something to fill the silence. I just miss him so badly. I want him home with me....

 
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Old 01-19-2011, 08:21 PM   #2
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Ivorygirl HB UserIvorygirl HB UserIvorygirl HB UserIvorygirl HB UserIvorygirl HB UserIvorygirl HB User
Re: Lost My Dad, 1/11/11

Hi.....so sorry for your loss such a great one for you and so suddenly too. What you are going through is pretty much normal.....I lost my mom about 9 months ago and my brother 9 months before that. And I still find myself aching to talk to them by phone and see them again.

It does get better each day......in the beginning I was much like you, it felt as if the world was spinning around me and I was just there, numb like you describe.

As the days went by I learned to smile along with the sadness, remembering the things they did and said which would warm my heart.

The memories you have of your dad will carry you through the grief, for they are yours to keep forever.

And eventually you will join in with life again and see it in a different way, carrying your dad with you in your heart each day, honoring him by living it the way he would want you to.

So, give yourself permission to mourn your loss for it is a great one to lose a parent.

And then commit yourself to getting back into doing the things that would make your dad proud. As you do you will find a new way to have him in your life and see his presence in a different way.

It sometimes helps to keep a journal in which you can write to your dad telling him how you feel....and as you do you will move forward and find it to be easier to bear the loss.

Sending you some (((HUGS))) and understanding your sadness.

~ Ivory

 
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Old 01-22-2011, 05:19 PM   #3
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Re: Lost My Dad, 1/11/11

Hi-
I am so sorry to hear of your news. A father is really important and losing someone so important, so young is an overwhelming thing.
I would imagine that the hole you feel- is that loss, and over the next while it will change to abunch of things, feelings, memories, tears, stories.....
Do whatever you need to to make yourself feel better so you can get through. Talk to people, the journaling is a good idea. I find that writeing letters helps me get the feelings out , and also makes me feel close to the person I'm missing.

I wish you all the best. I am so sad for you. But your Dad is still with you, and it sounds like you know he really loved you. That is a wonderful thing to have.

 
Old 02-11-2011, 03:27 AM   #4
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Re: Lost My Dad, 1/11/11

Quote:
Originally Posted by faeriegirl25 View Post
Just looking for some support, maybe some words of encouragement from someone who can relate to my situation. On 1/11/01 I lost my dad to a massive heart attack. He was 65 years old. So young. That morning he went out to shovel snow after a snowstorm that hit our area. He came in the house complaining of shortness of breath and chest pain. He was taken to the hospital by the ambulance where he coded within an hour. My mother and I were unable to go to the hospital with him because we couldn't get the car out of the garage, and we trusted he would be okay.

The doctors were waiting on blood results and I was able to speak to him on the phone. He sounded so tired, and out of breath. Yet he assured me he felt a little better. Had I only known he would be gone from us a few minutes later. They tried for over an hour to bring him back...but he was gone.

I just feel so lost...so empty. I feel like I am living in some dark abyss. I couldn't go to the funeral, I just couldn't bare to see him there alone. I know he wouldn't of wanted me there if it was going to bother me so badly. Now that he is buried, I just feel numb. I feel like I can't cry. I'm angry and I keep thinking he is just out visiting his friends and that he will walk in the door at any moment. I was in shock for a few days, but now the numbness has set in. I can't cry, I just sit and stare ahead. The t.v. is on, but I barely watch it. It's just something to fill the silence. I just miss him so badly. I want him home with me....
Hi fairgirl,
I am sorry for your loss. I never thought that i will write in this page one day. Since you need support from people who are in similar situation i thought of writing.

My dad slept in lord on 13th Jan 2011 and 14th Jan is my son's 3rd yr birthday. He was 62. He died due to heartattack. He never had any prior issue except high bp but he was under regular medication. Morning he left my mom at school (she is a teacher). Evening she was waiting for him to come and pick. Since he dint come for more than 30 mins she took cab and reached home to find him on the ground in the pool of blood/ urine / stools/. He breath his last breath after hearing my mom's screaming and he died in another 2-3 mins. With out knowing his death she took him to the hospital and doctor declared it as brought dead.

We relate to each other so much rite ? But i am coming to terms in my life. The one thing which makes me to feel better is during the last 2 weeks of his life he was keep on asking forgivenss from God for all his backsliden ways. He was a great back slider. But by god's immense grace he brought him back once again. i am happy for his soul now. But the fact that he is not around really hurts. Sometimes i want him so badly , atleast 30 mins talk with him and i cry so much. I take this as an opportunity to move closer to God. With the companianship of Jesus i am able to move on.

You can also try him if you want.I will remember you in my prayers. I always believe that God is the healer and not the time.

Jessie

 
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