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Old 01-21-2011, 04:37 PM   #1
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Unhappy My wife died. I need help.

My wife suffered from severe medical problems and had partial parralasis. She also had black depression. One day I went out to the shop and when I got home she was laid on the bedroom floor dead. i tried to give CPR until the ambulance arrived but despite their best efforts there was nothing they could do. the drugs that she took were just so strong because of her illness nd disability. Since she died I have ben in despair, myself.

I do not know what to do or where to get help from. I am unable to go out of the house as I get panic attacks that put me into Hospital and I am scared stiff of people visiting in case I get admitted into the mental Hospital. My doctor has almost done this a few times. I am not a person who can talk properly, but I do seem to be able to type what I am thinking for some reason. I really hope that somewhere there is someone who knows what I am going through and can help me in my time of grief/need/despair and lift me from the spiral of hopelessness that I find myself in.

I loved my wife so much and devoted every second of every day to caring for her every need. Her overdose was accidental. She just wanted the pain and confusion to go away. I do believe in the afterlife. please help and give me a guide to get better. please.

Last edited by Administrator; 01-25-2011 at 10:45 PM.

 
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Old 01-22-2011, 05:06 PM   #2
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Re: My wife died. I need help.

Do whatever you have to do to make it through... you really loved her. That is an impossible thing to go through, to experience. I can't even imagine how much you would hurt right now.

From me- I wish that you find someone near to you who can give some help through this time.

Last edited by Administrator; 01-25-2011 at 10:47 PM.

 
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Old 01-22-2011, 05:53 PM   #3
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Re: My wife died. I need help.

I am terribly sorry for your pain. I believe in the afterlife too, yet I believe that it's important to remember that God will call us when it is our time, and not before. You have experienced something very recent, and very traumatic. My advice is to seek out a grief group in your area and/or go visit a psychiatrist specializing in grief counseling. I hear that you are in a bad place now, emotionally. You need to be able to share that with someone who can truly help you. I wish you well, so sorry you are going through this!!!!

Last edited by Administrator; 01-25-2011 at 10:47 PM.

 
Old 01-22-2011, 06:57 PM   #4
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Re: My wife died. I need help.

Mr. Chip,

First of all, welcome to the HealthBoards, we are here to help and will do our best to add a bit of light into your day. I am very moved by your letter and terribly sorry for the pain your are suffering.

The fact that you are here seeking support and understanding is a wonderful step. I came to the boards in a terrible state myself, mine due to life changing health issues. What I found here was a group of very empathetic, understanding folks that offered me just what I needed at the time...a place to work out my feelings in a warm loving environment.

What ever my feelings were on any particular day, whether anger, frustration, sadness, loneliness, and eventually hope, happiness and comfort...I could put it here, and get the relief and understanding that I was looking for. As time passed, I begun to overcome my initial sadness and desperation. These days, I encourage others to look for the beauty in life, and choose a positive way of life.

Now, years later I am here everyday to repay a bit of the kindness and support I received...in order to hopefully pass some of my gift to others. Nowadays it gives me the greatest pleasure to share what I received here, with people such as yourself...who are hurting and need some kindness and support.

If you cannot get yourself out to see a grief counselor, or join with others nearby that are sharing your experience...I encourage you to work though some of your feelings with those of us here, who understand your loss, and will share how they got through. Although, professional help is always going to be recommended, there are many things that other grieving mates can offer.

Time is a great healer, but when you surround yourself with positive people who care, you can find a bit of happiness each day. It is a start. We welcome you into our family...

Last edited by Administrator; 01-25-2011 at 10:48 PM.

 
Old 01-22-2011, 07:45 PM   #5
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Re: My wife died. I need help.

Mr Chip,

I'm sorry you've suffered such a terrible loss.
I know that I can't understand exactly what you're feeling, but I know what it's like to miss someone.
I believe there's a reason you're still here.
I believe there will be meaning in your life again, and that you still have important things to do here on this earth.
And most of all, I believe that your wife would want you to stay, and fight for your life, just as she would've done if it hadn't been for the pain and confusion.

We're here for you, and you can talk to us whenever you want to. You're not alone.

Please hang in there! I'll continue to read and respond to any posts you make, and will send lots of positive and healing vibes your way.

Hugs, Kali.

Last edited by Administrator; 01-25-2011 at 10:49 PM.

 
Old 01-22-2011, 08:55 PM   #6
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Re: My wife commited suicide in December and I have no interest in life anymore. Help

I'm so sorry for your terrible loss.
you're still in shock and you're grieving. your feelings are normal. please seek out a grief counselling support group in your area. No one will put you in a mental hospital, your emotions are traumatized and understandably so. At the very least, keep posting here. This is a wonderful place.
I agree your wife wouldn't want you to hurt. She would want you to spend the rest of your life living. I'm sorry again for your pain.

 
Old 01-31-2011, 02:35 PM   #7
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Re: My wife died. I need help.

How are you doing since you first posted,Mr. Chip?
Thinking of you.

 
Old 02-16-2011, 10:58 AM   #8
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Re: My wife commited suicide in December and I have no interest in life anymore. Help

I'm sorry for your loss. I came on here looking for similar advice about grieving. I don't have any particular advice just wanted you to know I read and sympathise. Continue writing and talking as much as you can. You will not be put in a mental hospital just for having panic attacks.

 
Old 02-16-2011, 02:52 PM   #9
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Re: My wife died. I need help.

Mr. Chip, are you still with us?

The original post was made in January, and Mr. Chip has not posted again. We can only hope that he received the love and support that we sent, and would love to hear how he is doing now. We all hope the very best for Mr. Chip.

with love and care

 
Old 06-23-2011, 02:26 AM   #10
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Re: My wife died. I need help.

Bless you mate. Your story is similar to mine. My wife died 2 weeks ago from lung cancer - she never smoked, what a rip-off. I loved her so much and nursed her at home until she passed away while I was holding her hand. She too pursed her lips so that I could put some balm on them. I am a shattered man, my beautiful wife was only 40, we were going to have another baby. Difficult to see a future without her.

 
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Old 06-23-2011, 03:01 AM   #11
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Re: My wife died. I need help.

Your wife is truly free for the first time in her pain, and she would want you to be able find release and healing in beggining to find a fresh, healthy and happy new begginning somehow....you owe it to both of you to reach inside of yourself and find that person that she loved, that person of courage who stood beside her and bore witness to her pain and her courage, and give back to yourself what she would have you have..life....dont hide from it, join a support group to start off, surround yourself with healing in it, and from there find the baby steps forward to bring your life and her love in you BACK INTO THE SUNSHINE. It seems along way off, but you do not deserve to hide in the dark, alone, and you would not be being fair to yourself or her love for you that she found you as somebody beautiful and worthy to share her life with...goodluck, and best wishes...

 
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Old 06-23-2011, 03:08 AM   #12
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Re: My wife died. I need help.

Thank you, she only died 2 weeks ago. She told me to live my life. The last words she spoke to me were 'you'll be blessed in heaven'. She said this as I was turning her in bed to make her more comfortable. I will live my life and honour her memory until I am buried beside her. Thank you for your words, this really helps.

 
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