Hi VeeWee ~ So sorry to hear about the loss of your mom.
I too, lost my very healthy mom just a year ago and just passed the one year anniversary of her death just days ago.
Like you, I had such a difficult time particularly since her death was only 9 months after losing my youngest brother.
Losing mom was harder because she wasn't just my mom, she was my very best friend.
I can only imagine what it would be like to lose a mom so suddenly like you did.
My mom had never been ill and walked 5 miles a day and went to her doctor to check whether she had a fractured rib and on examination was found to have an enlarged liver.
Within days we were told that she had a bile duct cancer that was basically untreatable and that she would have about 3-6 months.
We lost her in a little over 2 months time!!
Although we had the time, it still wasn't nearly enough.
But I do thank God that we at least had that time to prepare ourselves.
My heart aches for you and your family and any family that loses somebody so unexpectedly. And I am sure that there is so much more to struggle with in such a loss.
I am glad that you are taking care of yourself so that you can better navigate through your grief. It isn't easy and I too still find myself struggling but thankfully due to my strong faith am able to get through each day.
I have found that now that we have gone through all the FIRSTS that it is somewhat easier, however, I KNOW also that I will always miss my mom's physical presence in my life.
I am sure that you feel the same and I just wanted to send some (((HUGS))) your way and let you know that you are not alone and that I am happy to hear that you are able to allow the antidepressants to help you through a difficult time.
Like you said, it won't be something you will be on forever, but is something that will help you move forward during this difficult time.
((((HUGS))))) ~ Ivory