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Old 06-04-2011, 08:43 PM   #1
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Denial?

I lost my dad on Wednesday to a sudden heart attack. He collapsed on Tuesday at 4 and by 2pm on Wed. he was gone. It's so shocking, he was healthy, running and feeling well.

I want to know if this is normal. My dad was my best friend, we were very close. But, there are times when I feel completely fine...sometimes I cry. But, I am able to think about him at times and I'm okay, I don't feel sad or anything.

Is this normal? Am I in denial? I'm trying to make myself face the situation--I've thought about him and the fun times. I've made myself watch the sad episodes of shows about death to hit the emotions. But, there are brief times of sadness but I'm fine most of the day.

I feel like a bad person, like I didn't love him enough to be sad.

 
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Old 06-05-2011, 01:15 AM   #2
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Re: Denial?

My friend, what on earth are you doing to yourself!
Beating yourself up because you are trying to cope with such a terrible trauma? Have mercy!
People deal with the loss of loved ones in different ways. Yours is simply another one! The fact that it happened a few days ago, may indicate that you are still in shock. So don't press yourself to grieve if you do not feel like it. It may come later on, or it may not. Give yourself some space, please!
Take care.

 
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Old 06-05-2011, 04:53 PM   #3
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Re: Denial?

Don`t beat yourself up! Like Thaliak said people deal with death in different ways. Exspecially a close parent, you may just be in shock still because of how fast it came. My dad seemed like he was getting better from being sick then all of a sudden he got bad and died 2 days later. At first it didn`t really hit me but after the funeral and then the one year day of his death it hit me hard. I still felt like he would walk right threw the door at any minute. Things happen and sometimes it makes you stronger. It will be hard for a while but at some point it will hit you and you`ll feel it. It will releave some weight from your shoulders but it will still be hard. You`ll still remember him and he`ll still be there in your heart trying to guide you. Good luck my friend.

 
Old 06-05-2011, 07:01 PM   #4
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Re: Denial?

The first time I lost a family member, it was my grandmother. For a week I just sort of went about my life. We buried her. I went to school... the usual, until finally I just came home, walked up to my room and sobbed for hours.

It takes as long as it takes. However you grieve, don't be ashamed.

 
Old 06-06-2011, 02:16 AM   #5
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Re: Denial?

I was talking to a few of my friends and I want to make sure I'm making the right decision. I was supposed to visit my friend next week for 10 days. They say that I should still go to take my mind off of things. But, I don't know if that's a good idea...staying home is okay, right? I've already canceled my ticket, I just want some back-up that I made the right decision.

 
Old 06-06-2011, 08:31 AM   #6
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Re: Denial?

Hi, its not a case of taking your mind off things. Its a case of moving on. What would your Dad want you to do if he was around, I'm sure he would wish you to go and stay with your friend. Your not going to stop thinking about your Dad while your away but being with your friend will help the healing progress and your friend will support you during this time. Its your decision but having been in that situation myself, I would go , its not a dishonor to your Dad. All the best, Solofelix.

 
Old 06-07-2011, 05:42 AM   #7
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Re: Denial?

Nope, I do not think it is a right decision to stay home and "beat" yourself up.
Buy a new ticket and just go. It would help you heal. Trust me. I have lost both of my parents, my mum suddenly and my dad from very old age and I know how it feels. Just giving youself some breathing space does not mean disrespect or lack of love for your father.
Good luck.

Last edited by thaliak; 06-07-2011 at 05:43 AM. Reason: spelling

 
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