Mom Passed Away
It's been a year since my mother died from a pulmonary embolism stemming from her lung cancer, but it feels like it just happened. I tried talking to who I thought was my best friend about it, but he just flat out told me that he didn't want to listen to me because it depressed him, and since then I haven't tried to talk about it with anyone else. My dad is, at times, a completely inefficient human being. He needs my help for everything, and I feel like he's placing all of my mom's old responsibilities onto me... he's even mistakenly called me by her name a few times. I'm only 25, and I don't have the emotional well-being at this point to constantly help him out. My brothers, they're completely selfish people and this didn't change even after the death of my mother... it's just gotten worse since then. Sometimes I feel like all this is just too much to handle and I don't even want to get out of bed a lot of the time. I feel like I'm pushing a lot of this sadness and anger onto my boyfriend, which is completely unfair to him, I know this. I tried making an appointment with a psychologist, even though I really detest the idea of spilling my guts to some stranger, but they never called back and I just take that as a sign that it was a bad idea in the first place, but I just want to talk to someone about everything so badly. My mom was my best friend and I miss her so much.