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Old 06-20-2011, 02:39 PM   #1
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Orchid1991 HB User
Lost my brother- Any discussion, advice..

Hi everyone,

My brother passed away April 2010 from cancer. I have been having a difficult time coping. It's been tough as I have lost many friends but most importantly lost my brother. He was my bestfriend and meant the world to me.

Does anyone have any advice or would like to share their experience? Since my brother has passed away it seems like no one wants to talk about him anymore, maybe it is too difficult for them. I would like a place that I could share stories or just a place to talk.

 
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derek9and21 (06-21-2011), Ivorygirl (06-21-2011)
Old 06-21-2011, 09:22 PM   #2
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Ivorygirl HB UserIvorygirl HB UserIvorygirl HB UserIvorygirl HB UserIvorygirl HB UserIvorygirl HB User
Re: Lost my brother- Any discussion, advice..

Hi Orchid

I lost my dear brother 2 years ago and miss him so very much. Like you describe, he was more than a brother, he was a good friend who I could talk to about almost anything.

And he was my youngest brother too. Losing him was the hardest thing I ever endured, that is, besides losing my mom 9 months after him.

I just went to visit his grave on Father's Day with my dad since it marked the two year Anniversary since we lost him.

I talk about him as much as possible but find that people feel as if I haven't moved on when I do but it is just my way of keeping his memory alive.

Same with my mom, she was my best friend and I still find myself reaching for the phone to talk to her or my brother.

Feel free to talk or share stories about your brother.....I will be glad to listen and share some of my own.

My brother was a wonderful person and his passion was being a good father. He left behind 6 children and was married 3 times but melded his families...in fact his 2nd wife and widow are best friends and live only blocks from one another. 5 of his 6 kids go to the same school and the 6th is in college.

It was amazing how he melded everyone together by being the best dad he could be.

His final journey taught me alot about life and also about our faith and love for one another......of how no matter what distance or time that may stand between us we can still be near those who we are joined in love and in faith.

Despite his passing, he still shows me that he is near.....our hearts were very open to such things and so I have been blessed to KNOW that he is still very much around me and those he loves.

I find that the memories we shared over our lifetime are enough to keep him alive and which help me through some difficult times when I find myself missing him. Somehow, another wonderful memory will emerge and have me smiling and help get me through a moment when I find myself thinking about him. Same with my mom.

Most importantly, I find that gathering with my family, my brothers kids allows me to feel his physical presence each time I give or receive a hug. As much as I feel I need to be alone during such times it is far better to be amongst those who loved him too in order to get through those tough moments.

I hope some of this helps.....I know that it is of great comfort knowing somebody else is going through something similar and hope that my sharing a little bit about my brother helps you feel comforted too.

((((HUGS))))) ~ Ivory

 
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Old 06-21-2011, 09:58 PM   #3
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Re: Lost my brother- Any discussion, advice..

I am sooo very sorry. I will pray for you to have peace and comfort. I can relate, my son was murdered, it will be 5 yrs next month. Join a support group. Go online to search for meetings in your area. They have proved to be helpful for me. We are like family cause we understand each others pain so well. I go to grief retreats and workshops through them. We share stratagies to help cope with life, with holidays. etc. Good luck and God bless you!!!

 
Old 06-24-2011, 06:37 PM   #4
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Orchid1991 HB User
Re: Lost my brother- Any discussion, advice..

Thank you Ivory and Derek.

It was nice to read about your brother Ivory, it's great that you two had such a great relationship and you will be able to tell his kids about him.

My brother was 4 years older than me, I looked up to him in everything. He was diagnosed with cancer at 18 but accomplished so much in such a short time. I really miss him. I was always so scared to lose him that I developed a bit of anxiety in a few situations and he was always able to coach me through it.

I wish it were easier for everyone to deal with everything associated with grief.

Thank you both for your encouraging words.

 
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derek9and21 (06-26-2011)
Old 08-22-2011, 10:34 PM   #5
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lovemybro HB User
Re: Lost my brother- Any discussion, advice..

Im so sorry Orchid. You are so strong to come and try to get help. I came on here to just feel like what I feel is normal....youre post really helped.
My brother is in his final stage of small cell lung cancer. He isn't expected to be with me for more than 2 more weeks.. This is honestly the hardest thing I have ever been thro.
It seems like he was just diagnosed on one hand, but on the other, it seems like hes been withering away for so long.
I think the hardest part is watching our brothers, who were our heroes, be so helpless and weak. His pride is gone.
I hope that you are doing ok after some time has passed. I can only imagine your pain. You are in my thoughts and my prayers.

 
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Orchid1991 (08-22-2011)
Old 08-22-2011, 11:07 PM   #6
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Re: Lost my brother- Any discussion, advice..

lovemybro- Thank you for your response.

If I could offer any advice to you, it would be to cherish every moment you have. I wish that someone would have told me to not be afraid and to ask my brother questions.. Always be strong but know that it is good to show your emotions and show him how much love you have adn always will have for him.

I feel like since my brother's passing that I have received "signs" from him. Songs on the radio...etc but most importantly in my dreams. I wish I could have told him that I was scared to lose him..cause I know he would have told me not to worry that he will always be here.. and I don't doubt that. I love him so much. I hope you get as much time with your brother as possible, I am so sorry you have to go through this. Sending lots of love.

 
Old 09-27-2011, 06:45 PM   #7
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sweet67 HB User
Re: Lost my brother- Any discussion, advice..

I lost my brother feb 2011 of cancer and just lost my sister unexpectedly aug 2011.

 
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