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Old 07-21-2011, 01:09 PM   #1
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wpbf55 HB User
Unhappy Hummmmm

I have always had a battle with depression, but my wife of 25 years just passed away and I am in one big hole. It seems like I do ok at work, but after a hour drive home, all I can do is sit in the driveway and don't want to go into the house. My daughter and Granddaughter lives with me and all I want to do is to hide in the bedroom all night. My wife had been seroiusly sick the last 20 years and it had gotten to the point that she could not even get out bed without help. With all that said and done, I still feel like I can't breath or think any more. My mind can only go one place and that is with her.
Just so you know, I don't think about ending my live, or hurting myself, it is just I hurt so very much. I have always been a very closed in type of person and my wife was the only friend I had, and I can't even talk to her about it. It first I thought that there was something wrong with me because I really did not start greaving until a couple of weeks after she passed, then it has hit me like a ton of bricks. I have found myself closeing in and don't talk very much any more. I don't laugh, I don't smile and I don't what to be by anyone that does. All I can think is "how could they be happy when my wife is not around anymore". I hope with time i can find some happiness again, but the way i feel i doubt it. ugh

 
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Old 07-31-2011, 10:44 AM   #2
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Re: Hummmmm

The loss of a mate is never easy, and even worse for men than women, research says.
I think your reaction is perfectly normal. Like you, I hope that in time your pain can be replaced by good memories of your wife, and you will have joyful times again. If you feel you need support, join a men's grief group. If your depression worsens, you might need a short stint of medication. I'm so sorry for your pain ,I truly am. God bless you.

 
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Old 08-03-2011, 11:59 AM   #3
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Re: Hummmmm

sorry for your loss. It will definitely take some time for the hurt to pass, and start living life again. It will also take time adjusting to things, and learning how to cope.

This is all what we called life. People come and go for many reasons. Some of which we don't have answers to. But remain positive, and find things to do to keep busy. Don't sit home and dwell on things, it won't do you any good!

I'm sure somewhere in your heart, you have youth to dig up and take advantage of while your still here on earth! Grab a coworker, friend, brother, son-in-law, etc. and go do something!!! see a baseball game, football game, bowling, car show, etc.

Not sure if you have a beach/lake nearby, but go there alone if you want and just sit and think. It will help. Plus its a change of scenery. I know all this is easier said than done, but dont stop living your life! Life's too short - be happy, eventually, learn to let go- and move on with life. You'll feel better and happier once you get out there and meet new people by doing new things.

Just go for it, what do you have to lose?!!!

 
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