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Son died, should elderly father be told

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Old 08-03-2011, 03:55 AM   #1
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EveG HB User
Son died, should elderly father be told

Hi everyone,

I am new to the forum and this is my first post.

I would be very grateful for your thoughts on my moral dilemma.

This week, my young uncle has passed away from cancer. It was all very sudden as he had only been diagnosed 2 months earlier.

My mother has travelled overseas to be with my uncle to support him at this time, and regrettably to attend the funeral.

My grandfather (uncles father) lives in a different country to his son, is 90 years of age, and has heart problems. Issues with his heart arise during times of stress.

My mother, upon her return, has decided it best not to inform my grandfather of his sons sudden death (at this point in time anyway), for fear he will have a heart attack upon hearing the news.

Although this also concerns me and I do understand her reasoning for this decision, I feel uneasy keeping this important news from my grandfather.

Your advice and thoughts would be much appreciated, thank you in advance.


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Old 08-03-2011, 06:14 AM   #2
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Re: Son died, should elderly father be told

Hi, Eve, and welcome.
So sorry to hear about your uncle. I do understand both you and your mother's feelings. My opinion is that if your grandfather is going to ask for his son and wonder why there is no contact with him, then he absolutely needs to be told. However, if my grandpa were 90 and never asks for his son and doesn't expect him to visit, I would not want to upset him by telling him of the death.

regards, Sue

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