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Old 09-17-2011, 09:52 AM   #1
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When someone is cremated what should you do with the ashes?

My grandmother wanted to be cremated. Now the question is, what to do with the ashes? Does one person keep them? We have a big family. My idea is to get ash holder necklaces so that everyone in the family can have one if they want. There's ash holder key chains too.

My sister is in agreement but some of my cousins think it is creepy. I found some that are classy and in the shape of a heart or there is an "infinite love" shaped one and they don't necessarily look like an urn. What do other people do with ashes and do you think a necklace is weird?

 
Old 09-18-2011, 05:17 AM   #2
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Re: When someone is cremated what should you do with the ashes?

Too bad no one asked her what she wanted done with her ashes. I think the necklaces are somewhat creepy. And I wouldn't try to force anyone to wear or even have something like that which made them feel uncomfortable.

Most people either spred the ashes somewhere of importance to the deceased or leave then in a special urn or box. That would be a decision for her surviving children - not grandchildren or cousins.

 
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Old 09-23-2011, 04:34 PM   #3
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Re: When someone is cremated what should you do with the ashes?

When my boyfriend passed away recently he left it up to us what was done with his ashes. We let everyone in the family know that they could have some but they had to get a container of their choice. I think the necklace thing is cool bc I can keep him close to me, but its a personal preference. The remainder of his ashes are actually going to be shot up in fireworks, bc we found a place that does that....he would have wanted to go out with a bang But everyone is different so I would just respect everyone's decisions.

 
Old 09-23-2011, 06:23 PM   #4
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Re: When someone is cremated what should you do with the ashes?

If they don't want to do the necklace idea, you could put some ashes in a little glass or wooden box or one of those little porcelain treasure chests, and then set it by a photo or several photos of her with some of your favorite quotes and memories of her pasted or engraved around the photo frame. I think this would be a nice way to remember and celebrate what an amazing person she was, here on Earth, and keep her lessons close at heart.

Hugs to you and your family
Much love,
LilacGardenia

Last edited by LilacGardenia; 09-23-2011 at 06:25 PM.

 
Old 01-03-2012, 09:37 AM   #5
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Re: When someone is cremated what should you do with the ashes?

Quote:
Originally Posted by alycat79 View Post
My grandmother wanted to be cremated. Now the question is, what to do with the ashes? Does one person keep them? We have a big family. My idea is to get ash holder necklaces so that everyone in the family can have one if they want. There's ash holder key chains too.

My sister is in agreement but some of my cousins think it is creepy. I found some that are classy and in the shape of a heart or there is an "infinite love" shaped one and they don't necessarily look like an urn. What do other people do with ashes and do you think a necklace is weird?
Did your grandmother express to you or any other family member before she became sick what she wanted done with her ashes ? Many people scatter them at sea or at a favorite location of the beloved deceased family member or they can be buried but that can cost as much as a traditional burial. The necklace is a good idea for the family members who want it but you can dispose the rest of the ashes as I suggested above.

 
Old 01-05-2012, 09:12 AM   #6
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Re: When someone is cremated what should you do with the ashes?

i think the next of kin should make all decisions like this ie; the persons spouse and if they dont have one their children
but it should always be the deceased closest relative that has first say

 
Old 01-21-2012, 08:06 AM   #7
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Re: When someone is cremated what should you do with the ashes?

My mother also wanted to be cremated. She did not personally believe in keeping ashes - she never even picked up her parents, husband or sister's ashes. She never went to a wake, and would not go to a funeral if there was a coffin. She believed the body was nothing; you were the soul and spirit. I know that this is how she felt so I myself would follow her wishes. However, my brother wants the ashes - I believe he is going to bury her ashes with my dad's (which his brother picked up and buried in a veteran's cemetery). If this is what he wants that's fine with me as maybe that will help him with his grief. I would try to work out with your family what everyone wants to do and then follow that. If someone would appreciate the necklace, those people can have it. If someone prefers an urn, they should be able to have that. And if they want nothing to do with the ashes, they should be allowed that. All of us have different ways of coping and what would comfort us.

 
Old 01-31-2012, 03:15 AM   #8
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Re: When someone is cremated what should you do with the ashes?

Hi, my dad passed 18mths ago and today is his birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD.
My mum has his ashes at home and he wanted to be scattered at sea.
we will do this, just have not been ready.
Yes we (my 2 brothers and sister were looking a those necklaces, but a lighthouse, as thats what he liked)
I dont think its creapy!
WHAT I REALLY WANT TO DO is get a tattoo with his ashes put into the ink mixture, as some tattooists do this, but some people have found this creapy! but to me, if they dont like it thats too bad...people will grieve in their own ways, so do whatever feels right

 
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